Tired
Ever been married and feel like your spouse is your roommate?
I been dealing with no intimacy, no dates, nothing. we have had this conversation multiple times, and i constantly hear, i’m work on it, am not good at romance or i don’t know how to be romantic? A lot of us are not experts but we figure it out or we come up with ideas or plans. this man doesn’t. and i have reached the point where am done talking about, asking or even thinking about it. i decide earlier this week, that am done looking for “couple time”. apparently it’s not important to him. now granted he has Erectile Dysfunction but won’t seek help for it. but he tells me he not interested or needs sex but i’m seen him looking at porn.
i just don’t understand when am dealing with something, he is the first to say, you need to talk to someone but he can’t talk to someone about his issues. his guy friend gets more time with him than i do.
im dealing with depression, now anxiety and just stressed out with this and i recently lost my mom 2 months ago. i’m trying to deal with all this, take care of my dad, his finances, my kids, and our household and am at my witty ends. and i’m not perfect, but i do what am supposed to do with our marriage, but i just don’t know anymore. i feel as if he is just not attracted to me anymore so i don’t talk or say anything about intimacy anymore.
@sadintrovertedsoul0
Hello there! 🖤🥀
It sounds like you're dealing with a period of your relationship that you haven't been feeling passionate about. No intimacy, no dates, no romance, i can imagine is really making you feel down. It seems like you understand where the hole is, and you are willing to put the effort into fixing it. I can imagine it is extremely frustrating when your spouse doesn't seem to be willing to put the effort to try to fix it. I hear you, if i were in your situation, at some point i would also really feel disheartened and stop bringing up the issue.
An undiscovered medical condition, a side effect of a drug, a hormonal imbalance, stress, sadness, low self-esteem, trauma, or even problems in your marriage that he hasn't brought up could all be impacting his sex drive, or willingness to get help for his condition.
What does it signify if your husband no longer wants sex? There isn't a single answer to this question. It's crucial to determine which of the reasons listed above apply to him. "He isn't attracted to me," "He doesn't love me anymore," or "He must be cheating," you could think. While any of these scenarios could be true, there are more possibilities.
It seems like even though he believes in you speaking to someone about your troubles, he doesn't follow the same advice. I totally understand how frustrated that must make you feel, it may even make you feel like you're just being left in the dark.
Depression, anxiety, the loss of a parent, and having so much on your plate, must already be affecting you so so much. I cant imagine also having to question whether your spouse is okay/if they still love you. No one expects you to be perfect, youre working so hard already, youre holding up through all this, and just keeping this frustration, and pain inside. I hear you, you are trying to fix it, you want to put the effort in, it must seem to you that he has no interest in that though ):
How do you feel about maybe seeing someone professionally for this? either a personal therapist or maybe even something as a couple? How have you been coping with it all so far? Do you think your relationship with him right now is the main cause of what's causing you to feel depressed/anxious? Have you spoken to him about how you really feel about it? not exactly how you view it, just how the relationship is making you feel? Maybe opening up to him a little more will make it easier for him to open up to you? What are your thoughts?
I truly truly admire the strength you have while going through so much stuff. Even though it may all seem indescribably dark right now, you are handling all this with so much grace. You still have the courage to open up, you realize that there is indeed something wrong. You genuinely want to put in effort to fix this. Youre not alone in this, and you got this, okay? You're doing so well, so do stay strong hun <3
We're all here for you. For live support, please don't hesitate to reach out to a live listener. We're here for you always, and you are never alone.
Sending so much love and strength
- Alïa🖤🥀
