What do I tell her, and how do I decide?
I have been planning on moving out with my girlfriend for the past 4 years, but as we get closer and closer to when we actually can, I'm not so sure anymore. She doesn't show her affection for me often, and the topic of moving is centered around her wants/needs. She (unknowingly?) dismisses my feelings and thoughts when I try to express them.
The thing is, I don't even know what I want. How do I tell her that I want to be heard when I'm not even speaking? How do I decide what to do long-term when I've been relying on her this whole time?
It might be my mental health, it could be her, or both- but I feel disconnected from her. I don't know what to do.
It sounds like you need to communicate, and I think you know you need to communicate too. The longer you put it off, the more painful and difficult it's going to be if you end up deciding to not move in with her. And if you don't communicate, you might end up stuck in a situation you don't want to be in. She might not even know that she's dismissing your feelings. And if she continues to do so after you communicate, then she doesn't sound like a partner you should live with anyway. Voice to her that you don't want to be reliant on her, that you're struggling with the disconnect, and that you're having a lot of anxiety surrounding the move. Maybe you'll find that she's more than happy to support you through it.
