i'm ruining my relationship
i'm thoroughly convinced that i have something wrong with me and i cannot figure out what. i cant afford a therapist to go and figure it out so rn i'm just trying to figure out how to deal with whatever is happening. i will have days where i'm fine and then literally in the blink of an eye i am sobbing, screaming, hyperventilating, and wanting to curl into a ball and disappear. just as quick as it escalates it turns off and i act like it never happened. at this point it's scaring my bf and im afraid that he will leave if i can't figure out what's wrong. we've been together 2 years and its always been like this. me getting upset, going from 0 to 100 in an instant, trying to leave the house, break up, anything to get him away from me, and then turning around and shutting it off like it never happened. only to then cry about how bad i feel about how i handle my emotions a short time later. idk what to do or if this thread even makes sense i just really need help.
You might try getting sooner care to cover expenses. There’s also mental health clinics out there that help people on low income. That’s how I got diagnosed, therapy, and medication.
@Wencanan good idea. some offer sliding scale too if you called around
@suhdeeuh that could be some type of ptsd or panic attacks. :( I hope maybe you can find a low income therapist. Maybe just try mindfulness stuff as much as possible on here or look up meditations for ptsd or panic attacks in the mean time.
I have panic attacks sometimes, not as severe as what you're describing, but this video for panic attacks helps me a lot.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YeM2yhULSVM&t=528s
@suhdeeuh
Hi, my name is Milton and I’m a certified grief counseling specialist. I had the same issue because I suffered from childhood trauma. I didn’t realize I actually modeled my relationships after a mother - son relationship to fulfill the emotional needs I didn’t receive in childhood. My mother was an amazing woman, but always ill so she was absent a lot.
Usually, unresolved trauma resurfaces in romantic relationships. It may be better for you to get what help you can and mend the trauma to create healthier relationships in the future and to have internal peace.
