long distance relationship issues
Hi so i wanted to talk to someone who's been on or is in a long distance relationship. Or anyone who knows how to navigate relationship conflicts. It been difficult lately, and we have been arguing. How often is it unhealthy to argue?. It's become a thing where we argue almost every month, and they get very intense. I have been healing from my past relationships which were a little emotionally traumatic and I think I tend to escape conflict. Sometimes the arguments get so intense that I get physically sick. Because we mostly argue on texts. And a few of the times we have been on the verge of breaking up. But neither of us wants it to happen, it's just that he can say mean things without considering what I'll feel and realises it later. even if he apologized for it, it still hurts. What do I do?
Thank you for reading.
@sincereSugar2765
any relationship can always use better communication in long distance you are missing a big component in communication ..... body language....... when talking in person i think we can see how the person is taking the conversation
tests chats / emails i reread my conversations with my long distance partner and some things depending on how you look at it could have different meanings.
even apologizing for texts etc does not fix what the person felt or how they took the text/ message
Hi, I'm actually in your same situation. Do you have any friends to talk with? I think they would help and could give you some advices.
If u have any dont ever waste the possibility to talk with them, there is nothing better than a friend trust me. Im saying this almost crying 'cause I have no friends to talk to but anyway I have to keep it up. A friend is the best thing you could ever ask for.
Anyway arguing its normal in a relationship.
A relationship is really full of obstacles and sometimes could be bigger than you can think and you dont know what to do. Thats when you have to cooperate to be able to be together and be nice with each others, maybe if your partner is arguing with you try to stay calm. Talk calmly and dont panic. Be nice. If you are nice instead of angry even during a argue, you could be able to keep the situation under control. The key is to not let the anger out and self control. I always tried this with my girlfriend but idk if its working. Im scared to lose her but we are not here talkingabout me. You can do it, just self control and kindness. Good luck and if something I said is wrong tell me.
(Sorry if I made any mistakes im not too good with english)
I used to text without reading what I was writing and thinking about it from my SO's perspective. It caused a lot of hurt feelings. I assumed she would read my texts the same way I meant them but that didn't always happen. I've gotten better. I also had to realize that I needed to be clearer in my messages and maybe communicate verbally.
@sincereSugar2765 It sounds like you're going through a tough time in your long-distance relationship. Arguments are normal, but when they become frequent and intense, it can be a sign of underlying issues that need to be addressed. You mentioned that you tend to avoid conflict due to past trauma - have you talked to your partner about this and how it's affecting you? Communication is key in any relationship, and it's important for both of you to take responsibility for your words and actions. If you're finding it difficult to cope with the arguments, it might be helpful to seek support from a therapist or counselor. Remember to prioritize your own well-being too - it's important to take care of yourself. Ultimately, it's up to both you and your partner to work together to find healthy ways to communicate and navigate conflicts.
So me and my bf live country’s apart it’s 9 hours on plane and we have this very issue, this may not work for you but something that worked for us is when you start arguing call it’s easier to explain and hear there tone of voice and then just talk about how he’s hurting you with some things he says and then come up with a solution on how to fix that together, ever couple fight and when your long distance it happens a lot more a lot more misunderstanding happen bc you arnt in person sometimes you just have to think before you get angry what they ment and ask them
@sincereSugar2765
