Am I being I'm unreasonable?
.. Am I being unreasonable? am I over stepping bounds?
The situation is a friend is dating my ex, who is still my friend.
I had asked them to keep the heavy pda's away from me for awhile. .. as in no tonsillectomy..
I fully expected them to hug, lightly kiss, caress and tease eachother in front of me. I can't help my ex pulled away from her when he thoughtI was looking.
she thinks every time I'm rolling eyes or a look of pain crosses my face it's caues I'm pissed at them. ( I've got some medical issues that causes me to have pain spikes.. which they are both aware of )
she told me I have caused nothing but stress and drama by asking them to keep the heavy pda, in front of me, at a minimum. . that they are both adults and. have etiquette to know how to act in public... I want to laugh at that.. since that tonsillectomy they had was in a parking lot of my family place..
im thinking about asking them both to a meeting. on neutral territory such as a Park away from other people.. to clear the air sort of ... im wonder if that is a good idea or not
@Gypsy4night
Hi there. So one of the things that really struck me while reading your post is how disrespectful it sounds like your friend and your ex are being. I feel like if you are all still friends, then there is a way to be "friends" together in a group without being gross or even super cutsy. There is a difference between what copules engage in during their private time and what they engage in while they are being friends with other friends. It also sounds like you have a decision to make regarding whether or not you really want to hang out with them both at the same time. It is understandable that it might be too painful and/or just plain annoying if you feel like their heavy PDA is rude or obnoxous. Unfortuantely, they are goign to do what they are going to do regardless of what works or does not work for you. The best thing you can do is to voice your request politely, which it sounds like you have already done. It stinks to be in yoru position regarding being forced to decide what you want to be exposed to and whether or not you can continue to maintain both friendships now that they are both dating each other. Not a fun sitaution to be in. Good luck to you.
I'm also contemplating showing him a text message from her to me about how it I've overstepped my bounds asking that the heavy PDA'S be kept to a minimum around me. .
Just to show him why I'm getting upset so damn easy
@Gypsy4night
Hi, definitely a sticky situation. That they even have to be asked to be respectful of you with regard to PDA given the history that you have with them calls into question their experience and/or respect with boundaries. Since he is also participating, it's likely that he will miss the point and it may cause more conflict between you and your friend especially if she intereprets it as you going behind her back. I wish you the best.
@KellyHortonPsyD
he seems more understanding then her.. that was gets me there..
I did tell him what she said.. I felt he deserves to know why I was upset. since had asked me eailer today. so I told him.
i also have told him I have to take time away for now.
@Gypsy4night
It definitely sounds like time away is good self-care.
@KellyHortonPsyD
my biggest problem is I don't have many friends. and I would hang out with him the most.
so I do feel like I'm losing a friend (him) and a gal I called a friend ( who called me like a sister)