Bad Friends?
In the past few months I've gone completely downhill... My really good friends stopped talking to me once summer started...they started doing drugs and drinking around that time. I don't partake inthose activitiesbecause I've dealt with it since I was in the 3rdgrade. I've lost a good friend to drugs (she's still alive but she's never been herself since) .I expressed afterschool started back up that I didn't want to lose them too but it seems like they don't give a shit.. Honestly..i don'tcare if theydrink, smoke, or do drugs as long as theycan hold a conversation about something besides the fact that theydrink, smoke, or do drugs. The few times I've conversedwiththem since it's all they ever talk about. I just want a meaningful conversation.. One out of the 3times they talked to me over the summer was when they were high and wanted me to bring them food...and I did. I figured they would like me then, but no they didn't talk to me.. I just want a serious friendship. I don't want a bullshit mamby pamby"everything is perfectly fine" type of relationship with them. I want to have fun but be able to have deep conversations. But They tend to think the only way to have fun is to be on something. I've just been so alone lately, depressed, not willing to get up and do anything...school is the biggest burden , one of my teachershas given me so much stress and anxiety that I've actually considered dropping out.. I've never seriously thought about dropping out ever in my life, I'm graduating in May and that's the only thing that is keeping me going isn't that sad... I'm just a failure..I'm boring, ugly, and fat. No one likes me,
Hii. First of all I just wanted to say you are not a failure. You're about to graduate that's an accomplishment. You are not ugly nor fat, it's just all lies that go through our heads. We distort images because of what people have told us. I think your "friends" aren't really friends you should continue trying to be friends with. I get the loneliness because that's me now. All my friends from high school I don't have anymore. And the friend that I always relied on she basically changed and our 10 + year friendship faded. We rarely talk and I keep trying to hang out but she says she's to busy but I see her hanging out with other ppl drinking and what not. I'm with you on the drug thing, I also wouldn't mind if they got high or whatever but as long as they could talk to you normally. The more you keep trying the more you're gonna get hurt, believe I know. You keep thinking why they don't like you when really there is NOTHING wrong with you. High school friends rarely even last. They come and go. You'll find true friends. But these are not lifelong friends and Im sorry about how you been treated. You deserve better. And you need to start distancing yourself from them cuz it's just gonna bring you down and I don't want to see that happened. I still go back and forth with my friend and you know what it's done to me? Made me feel desperate and like no one wants to even chill with me. But that's not true but that's what you think cuz you have history. You don't have to take my advice but I just wish you the best and I hope you find people that you can actually enjoy being around.
From personal experience with an ex and his friends (and being around substance abusers since the age of 5), I can tell you that these people are NOT your true friends. You being clean and not turning to these substances is an amazing thing! Be proud of yourself for that! It's hard to find people you can click with, but here's the way I started: give compliments. When I felt I was at my lowest and I felt lonely, I would complement people at my school, about anything ("I like your smile" or "you look pretty today" or "you're one of the smartest people I know") I found that bringing a smile to their face brought a smile to my own, and they wanted to connect with me more often, you can also be suprised, they may even like some of the same things you do! As for your teacher, let that good ol' senioritis kick in, and just take one evening off from that day's work. Do something to relax you to recuperate, and then get back at it. Sometimes, mental health needs to be taken care of before the schoolwork does. I hope you have a great graduation and a great day!
Thank you both , I know you know that letting these friends go is one of the biggest mountains to climb, I was so close to them... Then when I was still hanging out with one of them she told me that (let's just say Friend B) said "I don't think (insert my name here) will be good friends soon" and I sat and thought to myself "if he already thinks that there's no way in hell it will work out, it sounds like he's just not going to put in the effort" ...when I asked him why we didn't hang out anymore he said "because I'm on lock down" and not even 1 hour later he sends me pictures of him downtown with friends.. Which were also my friends... I've known most of the friends I have now no less than 4 years.. Friend B I've known 7 yrs and the other friend I've known 6 yrs.. I was so used to them already knowing and accepting me I forgot how to actually have a conversation with other people that weren't them. So now I'm just socially awkward and weird..
Im sorry to hear that :/ I felt that way too, it was a group of 5 friends who I thought were my family, but they all turned away because of drugs or relationships. As odd and uncomfortable as it feels, however, we have to make an effort to make contact with other people. The easiest way for me was complimenting people, maybe it will help you or you can try something different! And if you need a friend I'm always here!
You assume I haven't put in the effort? I feel like I should have nothing to complain about, but in just so disappointed and frustrated...I've given them my respect and my time and energy and effort. Don't assume I'm just lazing about expecting someone to make the effort and talk to me, I've tried having conversations ,I've tried making plans. They've just completely ignored and dumped me. They show no interest in me anymore.
I don't mean effort in communicating withthose friends, I mean to attempt to communicate with other people around you. I understand you made an effort to get through to them, and I commend you for trying.