Exes as Friends

@reservedBalloon7798 I am really glad you boyfriend is taking actions and considerate of your feelings and that is all a good sign. When I had insecurities with my boyfriend being friends with his exs, he just told me honestly how everything is and laid it out. It's never going to be complete 'not care about that', but I am pretty comfortable with everything and trusts him.

I think the little crazy and unreasonable one here is the ex. Perhaps they are just friends and everything she says is true, but if you are not friends, I don't see why she needs to even communicate with you.

Focus on your relationship with your boyfriend and make that strong, and stop worrying about it ( by not taling to her!) =)

@reservedBalloon7798

I can understand your feelings. The love talk and nicknames do sound like a bit much.

I was friends with an ex for twelve years, from the end of the relationship to the end of the friendship. It helped a lot that he returned to his home country after our breakup. The friendship was by phone, email, and social media, and we never had to deal with sexual temptation. He did carry a flame for me during much of that time, but the complications that caused did not outweigh the benefits of the friendship. He was not only my first love, but also my first close friend (aside from childhood friendships thst faded by adulthood), and I didn't want to throw that away. A boyfriend once asked me to, and I said "no." In this culture of serial monogamy, I would never recommend throwing away a good friendship for this year's boyfriend or girlfriend. However, if a friendship isn't good or important on its own merits, I can understand choosing a current romantic relationship over it.

My friendship with my ex easily survived my marriage to a man who was not bothered by it. The marriage continues, but the friendship does not, for unrelated reasons. (My ex/friend began displaying a bitter and cruel personality in our interactions, especially on social media. He was, socially, somewhat isolated, and socializing -- with everyone, not just me -- via social media seemed to intensify the unkinder aspects of his personality. He finally said something shocking about my toddler in a public discussion completely unrelated to her or to my family at all -- just out of no where, to drive home a point in a minor, unrelated disagreement -- and I cut off contact. I was extremely hurt and shocked.)