Friend advice
I have a friend who has done some not so great things in her relationship (including cheating on her husband before separating with him with a much younger guy). She's been doing a bunch of things that I do not agree with (drinking all the time with young kids at home with the ex, sleeping wth all sorts of people) and is just not the person I became friends with. I've pulled back from her because I do not agree with things happening and she confronted me on this asking why it seems like I want nothing to do with her. Although I have been busy with my own life, I haven't texted back sometimes or made plans to hang out. I don't know whether to be honest and cut ties or try to work things out. I'm stressing about the situation.
Hi there,
This is what i would do if you were me:
Don't say anything til she confronts you. When she does just say gently "some things you have done and some things you are doing i don't agree with. I know it may not be my place to judge..so i thought getting some distance would be best. I totally understand if you don't want to be friends no more."
You will get two things with this - 1) She talks to you and may confide in you the reasons why she did those things or her current behaviour
2) Gets angry and walks off (which secretly i think thats what you want as you're not comfortable with how she is)
@courteousbirch5308 - I think it depends on what you want and how you feel towards her.
Do you still want to salvage your relationship? Is the person you became so close with still in there somewhere and you want her back? Do you want to understand what's going on? If so, talk to her, fight for the relationship, and be honest with how you're feeling - real relationships require honesty and communication, even when it's hard.
On the other hand, do you feel like it's so far gone at this point that the relationship isn't worth working for? If that's the case, then pull back and let yourself go from this. Either option is totally okay, but you need to decide what makes sense for you.
Take care
I can see how tough this situation is for you.
Indeed you have other values and the way she is acting is making you feel like you cannot have anything to do with her anymore.
I've been in a similar situation wish an old friend from high school as well.
It seems that you are judging her based on your values tough. What are her values in those specific situations? We cannot make people react or do as we would do.
Sometimes it's okay not to say anything at all and just let them realize in time that you two don't have much stuff to share anymore. But it seems like they confronted you. Do you want to tell this friend what you feel about her actions?