Friend is giving up on me
I get closer to my only friend, he became my best friend, wanted to help me through my problems and now well I feel like he is tired of me, he is talking less and less to me, totally forgetting me when he is with his friends. That makes me so so sad, and it looks like he doesnt care much.
@Hawktrain
Hey there, hopefully you are doing well. There's a few things I would like to point out;
I get closer to my only friend, he became my best friend, wanted to help me through my problems (At first your friend will definetly want to do the best he/she can, but one things you really should think about is that we are all human. If he is not trained professional then he/she will feel drained after awhile and then they will need time to recharge. After they recharge and have their own space then they will feel a lot more receptive) and now well I feel like he is tired of me, he is talking less and less to me, (This is an indication he could be feeling smothered or busy, but this is where you should stop all forward movement until he contacts you. I think you might be heavily dependent on him for so many things, so at times this could make the other person feel smothered. It's not a bad thing to share what you are going through, however don't do it constantly or everyday) totally forgetting me when he is with his friends. (This means you are feeling separation anxiety and you are becoming trigger because this is how you felt when someone didn't spend time with you) That makes me so so sad, (Its understandable you feel this way, its hurtful. I do think you are projecting so many unmet needs on him, and when he is not available is where the depression begins) and it looks like he doesnt care much.
@freshLight64
thank you for your reply.
but what should I do to be less dependent?
when he is not talking there is a point where I feel better and then he talks again and when he stops again then the pain come back
@Hawktrain
but what should I do to be less dependent? (One of the things i noticed in your post is that you want to look in others to make you feel a certain way because inside of you it's something you don't feel. I do think you don't see yourself as important, valuable and they are a lot of fears that prevent you from believing yourself. You might have to always accept how you feel, and really focus on the things you love doing)
when he is not talking there is a point where I feel better (I think they are times you could be coming on strong, so it could be pushing him away) and then he talks again and when he stops again then the pain come back. (It's good you are backing away, but then theres a chance you come on strong once you hear from him, and then it makes him back away which makes you feel anxious)
