Friends with benefits vs dating
Pretty new to the whole dating scene. I just got out of a 8 year toxic relationship and initially I was told to go meet new people. So Ive been talking to and meeting new people to avoid falling back into the abusive cycle I was in and after talking to so many people I met someone. We hung out and then talked every day since then. Being that I am no where near ready for an actual relationship, weve both shared everything about our last relationships and eventually the flirting began and then we slept together. After we talked about being friends with benefits but it seems more intimate after sleeping together. He has clearly stated he wants friends with benefits, but everything Ive read about friends with benefits doesnt match up to what were doing. We cuddle, we talk everyday, we play video games together, and since Ive been out so long I dont know what the difference is anymore. Some friends told me were dating but we havent called it that. Are we dating? Are we both in denial about just being friends with benefits?
@jesssanotherday
That is what friends with benefits is, you cuddle and almost act like a couple, whilst also doing things together like a friend. If you're not comfortable with this or you feel that you're getting confused about it and it's playing with your emotions, then it may be a time to reconsider what you're hoping to get from the relationship. If you have recently broken up though, it is probably better for your mental health to have some time alone to recuperate, without having a man around that can confuse things and make the healing process more difficult. I wish you well!
@SilentSerenityy
it doesnt play with my emotions. I enjoy what were doing. I dont want to build anything more than this because I know I wouldnt make it in an actual relationship. I was just curious since a friend put in my head were dating, so I needed some support to show no its not dating were just friends. Thanks for some clarity behind this. I really needed it.
@jesssanotherday
A lot of people cannot understand the meaning of a FWB relationship unless they've been in a position to have one, so I can understand why your friend may be confused, but the most important thing is that you're happy with it and you know what you're doing and what it all means to you. You're welcome!
@jesssanotherday,
If you want to know the difference between dating and friends with benefits,think about the following - do you go out in public a lot,do you share personal stories with each other,does he progress (gradually) towards introducing you to friends and family ,does he talk about your future together,d does he ask you where you see yourself in several years,does he ask you about your goals,ambitions etc.If he sees you as girlfriend material,he will be interested in everything about you.And something else - it's not advisable to get into a relationship right after you have come out of a toxic one,you should take some time to see what is the reason which makes you get Into one in the first place,heal yourself first,otherwise you will continue to attract other toxic people into your life!Good luck!
@intellectualCake2979
thank you! Thats pretty good set of things to tell the difference. Its been a few months and a lot of therapy from this last relationship. Thank you for your concern. I am doing well enough to meet new people which is how this whole thing came about (isolation was a big part of the last relationship) which is why I felt confused when my friends said were dating.
@jesssanotherday,
Sometimes it takes years to heal,it's actually a life-long journey of self-discovery and personal growth.I doubt there is such a thing as "OK,I am healed now,let's go!"You are ready for a relationship when you actually trust yourself that you can deal with your emotions in a safe and healthy way,no matter what other people say.If you have let someone else's opinion confuse you,maybe you need more self-confidence in your own judgement,which automatically means you need more healing to do!But,of course,the good thing is we have the free will to do whatever we want and deal with the consequences later on!Stay safe!