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How do I face co-workers rejection?

User Profile: vincentLaw920
vincentLaw920 December 16th, 2019

First of all, English is not my first language, but I decided to ask for help in this community because I think I can get an objective advice about my problem, my country forums in others web sites are a joke and they're mostly harsh to other people asking for help.

Well, I'll try to explain a little my situation:

Two months ago I started to work at a new large international company, I'm working at an office surrounded by 30 other people and working directly with other 5 people. At the beginning, everything seemed fine, I was happy at that place, even I loved to go everyday, sit down in front of a computer and do my job, I had a "good" relationship with my co-workers or at least I used to believe that but then, everything changed.

It was Friday, lunchtime, everyone decided to hangout but nobody told me about it, they simply left the office and I stayed there like a fool, like a loser, nobody asked me if I wanted to go with them or if I was interested to hangout with them, just like that, I stayed there in front of my computer, without even a word from anybody.

I don't even know if I did or I said something wrong, for me, everything was right until that day or at least it seemed like that.

Obviously I feel rejected, because after that day, everyone hangout and enjoy the lunchtime but I haven't even been invited once, it's hard for me, because since I was a child it has been difficult to me establish good relationships with other people, I thought this time would be different, it would be a new beginning but it the same after all, I don't even know what's my problem and thanks to that I can't solve it or even modify my behaviour.

I'm looking for a sincere advice, not for a critic or sarcastic comments, for that I have a lot of people out of this website, I need help because after that situation I feel anxious and nervous working with all of those fake people.

Maybe Im taking this situation very personal, but I cant avoid it, its hard to me, I feel sad and Fridays are the worst days for me, I think this affect me a lot because it happened before, friends have betrayed me and my confidence is a disaster, I faced this new job with a new attitude, I've tried to be positive everyday, show a smile to everyone, be assertive in my discussions, I dont know whats wrong with me, because at the end nothing has worked.

Some people have told me before that I dont show enough interest in other people and that is my main problem, but I dont do it consciously, I like to meet new people but I dont like to ask a lot of questions and sometimes I dont even know what should I ask to someone because I dont feel the necessity to know them a lot, I know this is a problem by itself but I dont know how and why should I change that.

I hope you can help me people, maybe youve faced this kind of problem and youve been able to find a solution.

Thanks for your time.

1
User Profile: 7motivation
7motivation September 12th, 2020

@vincentLaw920

Hello.

THERE IS A LOT YOU CAN DO.

I would be like a scientist and try to understand the situation and experiment.

I would also analyze the past and learn.

I would Google any questions I had to get answers and ideas.

HERE ARE SOME THINGS I WOULD PROBABLY FIND IN SITUATIONS SIMILAR TO YOURS.

You might be interested in knowing about
these Two Mindsets
and their impact on your life and other people...

Outward Mindset vs. Inward Mindset:
https://nicertube.com/mv9st8

ALSO HERE ARE RESOURCES ON HOW TO MAKE FRIENDS.

If you want make new friends, try these fun-to-listen-to podcasts.
A good first step to break out of feeling lonely is . . .
TAKE BACK YOUR POWER to make things happen!. . .
Reach out and find new friends in real-life.

LEARN HOW TO MAKE NEW FRIENDS
IN THE 3 FUN PODCASTS BELOW.
Podcast 1 starts out silly about using a spreadsheet, but gets very interesting and covers "How to have find and keep friendships". Lots of great ideas, suggestions, and insights are provided that are proven to work.
Click on the [Minute Listen] blue bar on the web pages.

Each podcast wraps up with "take-aways". I guarantee you will learn surprising new things that will help you in real-life.

Poodcast 1 - Accept The Awkwardness: How To Make Friends and keep them
https://www.npr.org/2019/08/15/751479810/make-new-friends-and-keep-the-old

Podcast 2 - When Friendships Change, How To Cope
https://www.npr.org/2019/08/19/752412010/when-friendship-changes-how-to-cope

Podcast 3 - Men Can Have Better Friendships. Here's How (not just for guys!)
https://www.npr.org/2019/08/19/752412752/men-can-have-better-friendships-heres-how

ALSO, THESE IDEAS MIGHT APPLY TO YOU.

Developing a "Growth Mindset" to replace "Fixed Mindset" can help some people.

Start mini or tiny. Mini Habits or Tiny Habits can help some people.

Learn "Mindfulness" to replace "Mind-less-ness" behavior, thinking, and perceiving.

You can find Growth Mindset and Habit and Mindfulness resource links in a Post I made here:

https://www.7cups.com/forum/SiteUpdatesInformationFortheCommunity_100/GlensNookCommunity_547/Whatbookortalkhashelpedyou_228527/2/#forum-post-2433183