I barely know this friend and nor do I feel close to her
Hi:
For the last 10 years, I have been associating with a woman who lives with NLD who I met through some adult supports through an autism center as I am on the spectrum myself.\Though we have never grown to be close with this person, we have invited each other get-togethers next such as birthdays next to going over to her house Thanksgiving. Other than that, we have barely ever called each other and probably did two things one-on-one twice.
We have very different personalities where I am very outgoing and she is extremely quiet. Most of the time, we get together, she hardly ever says a word to me. I have to pull teeth to talk to her by asking her questions. Yet, the members of her family and I have similar personalities. So I have found myself talking to them over her. However, they don't care for me and vice versa. I find them very shallow, self-absorbed and condescending towards me.
This friend and I are both in very different places of our lives -
1. I live on my own and have a career whereas she is working part-time off and on at a salad shop though she got an education
2. She still lives with her parents who are more protective of her whereas I live on my own
I have to wonder though, would this be a friendship out of obligation because we are both people in the "Disability community, despite the different personalities and the fact that we are in two different places in life?
Has anyone else ever been in a similar relationship?
@Summershy
Friendships can be weird and unique. If you feel you are comfortable with them at this stage, maybe you can continue. On the other hand if you feel weird or if you don't want to continue, it makes more sense to let go.
You can just communicate to them politely and break away. But only if that is really what you want to do.
@plumBeechwood7549
Hi,
Thanks for getting back to me, I just quietly unfriended her and her family on Facebook and said nothing. She found out and texted me about it. Believe me, she did not approve of that. She was also mad that I unfriended her family members. I said that I felt like they were not really my friends. She and her mom blocked me for that.
I cut her from my life because
A. The friendship was not going anywhere after 10 years
B. Her family members are pretentious and think they are more than they are.
As for the Thanksgiving thing, they were tired of having me over there and I honestly dreaded it to because her mom is so arrogant. She was vulgar to me last year, in fact. When I knocked on the door, her mom came down the stairs, saw me outside, smiled, and gave me the "1 Sec" finger. Then she went into the kitchen and her my friend get the door for me. \
At first, I was just going to be friends with my former friend and have brief contact with her mom and her siblings. Meanwhile, not go to their home for the holidays anymore. However, I decided that it was going anywhere.
@Summershy
I'm glad you decided to do what you needed to. I have also been in similar situations and can tell you that sometimes breaking it is the best you can do, especially if the friendship isn't helping.
Her family sounds to be really weird. And it's best to keep distance from such people, especially people like her mom as you described. Whatever way this has worked out I'm sure it's for the best.
