I did a mistake to my best friend and now she is giving me the silent treatment..
Hello all. I am looking to share my story, as I don't have many people to talk to and I am looking for some help..
So, I am 33 year old man and I have a best friend with benefits that is a 37 year old woman. We met each other before 2 years and immediately we had such a strong connection and everything felt so real.
Our bond became so strong with every talk, text, meeting, with every hug, kiss and smile. I was next to her through her ***, always giving her courage, helping her, sharing her pain, loss and struggle.
Last year a man broke her heart, it was the first time she was in love like this. She was devastated, but I cried with her, I was with her always and told her that we will get over this and I am always and forever with her. And she did get better pretty fast and told me it was because of my help. Told me that she can't imagine her life without me and that I am her everything..
We shared so many laughs together, countless memories and always I have felt that our bond is friendship is forever.
I have to tell you tho, I fell in love with her after the first few mounts and told her, she reacted really good, told me she loves me too, but mostly as a brother and best friend and I ofcourse loved her like a sister and a best friend too and we continued like this. It was devastating for me when she was explaining me about new guys in her life and especially this one, she loved, but I always was next to her like a true best friend and always helped her. We talked many times that no matter what in the future we will live together and grow old together.
This guy tho after broking her heart and using her, without shame continued trying calling her and texting her in the distance of some weeks or months. The last time she texter her past week again with no shame and remorse and she told me immediately and I got mad and told her that I will call/text him and I will go find him and beat the sh*t out of him. She told me:"No, he will think that I am not over him and I am." I told her:"Yeah, of course, you are right." But then started thinking again, I wanted to defend her and texted him. After that I told her and she got mad and hung up the phone on me. Then that guy called her and she became even more mad at me, because she had to talk with him. I know I messed up, but I only wanted to defend her.. And now she is mad at me and is giving me the silent treatment and is has been a week.
I want to tell you, that we talk 5-10 times a day, always, no matter where we are and what we are doing. And I felt horible that I coulnd't talk with her. I kept texting her and without response from her. At first she was seeing the messages and now not even this.
The other day I got to her house with a big teddy bear, flowers and a letter to say I am sorry in person, but she reacted so bad, she told me so many nasty things, told me I can throw the gifts in the bin and got in her car and left, leaving me standing there shattered.
Now I stopped texting her, but I feel so bad. I feel bad, because I hurt her and because I can't even say a proper sorry. I want to fix things between us, because I think our connection is really rare, unique and special, but she is giving me the silent treatment. I also happen to have health issues right now and she knows about this, also knows that the fact she is not talking to me is killing me and I feel awful and she act like I mean nothing to her and I am nobody..
I see on *** that she is going out with friends, smiling and is happy and I cry, can't sleep, can't work and I can't do anything..
@MikayVika
I can sympathize with the loss of a very close friend. It is hard, especially when they do not reciprocate. A while back I told her that I had feelings and she became distant and avoidant. I tried to fix our friendship for months but she would have nothing to do with me.
I eventually sent ser a text to say my journey with her was over. That was the hardest thing I have had to do. We work in the same office building and I avoided going anywhere near the area she works. After 3 - 1/2 months we finally crossed paths and the only words between us was "Morning" then it was nothing but awkward silence. I think she was shocked I said morning and out of habit she said morning but then realized it was me standing behind her. she turned away and that was the end.
I am going through the loss of a 12 yr friendship and the not talking can be heartbreaking and painful. I hope she comes around and realizes that you should be in her life.
@braindamag3
Oh, maan... I am so sorry to hear for your situation.. It is so hard, frustrating and painful.. I really wish it wasn't like that for you, mate... You didn't deserve this, after all even if you told her about your feelings, you wanted to keep the friendship and you were willing to work for that. But sadly, I guess it was easier for her to act like this.. So sorry, again. I am in tears just reading this and imagining the pain you are feeling...
Thank you and hope God can hear us and that we both have those girls in our lives..
Sending many hugs, mate!
@MikayVika If you're my brother. I will tell you to move on. It'd be better if i said "you've been played and used". But you're not. She told you that she loved you as a brother. But you all hurting and sick because she didn't talk to you. Be honest, you love her more than a sister. It's not gonna work. She doesn't look like you like that. You have to stop texting her and find someone else. Spend all that money to yourself. Go to the gym, buy some good clothes and perfume. Work on yourself. Listen to me.
@1mhereforyoubuddy Thank you for your answer, mate. I know you have a point in everything that you texted. But it's difficult to explain. I do love her in a romantic way too, but believe me, I do really love her as my best friend and a sister too. I can and could genuinely be happy for her if she marry someday or have kids. All I want to is to see her happy, healthy and succesfull and I understand that I hurt her and I broke her trust and I am hurting, because of this too. As I always said to her:"You are never alone. I am in your life now and every problem we will face together." But now she had a problem, because of me and I can't be there to help her..
