I'm I just paranoid?

@resourcefulPlace4638

Hey there, hopefully you are doing well. There's a few things I would like to point out;

These past months I haven't been on the best terms with my 'friends' and I don't know what to do. Previously, I've had a fight with friend A whom I concidered my best friend. It was because I was 'too dramatic' for her (She is minimizing how you felt, doesn't have empathy, is projecting how she feels on you and not taking the time to understand how you feel. She is the type of friend who will not put any priority or importance on how you feel because in her mind she thinks emotions are not a big deal so this will trigger your anxiety) and that I was moving away thus she was distancing herself from me at school. (This is a sign she has been abandoned in the past, so now she will distance from people if she gets the hints they will leave or hurt her) I confronted her only to get her even more angry then before. (I dont think yo did anything wrong here, this just means she has a lot of insecurities and triggers to deal with, so the smallest things can trigger them. She got angry because of her insecurities and not from what you said) She said that I was 'being the victim' (I dont think you behave like the victim, you only tried to express yourself. I feel like she is the one who behaves like a victim here) and I was inconciderate when I tried to fix things. (The only one who behave inconsiderate, rude and immature is her, not you. I do understand why you would feel bad and down about this, but let me assure you didn't do anything wrong) She's a nice person (Shes coming across as selfish to me) and when I confronted her she couldn't give out her true feeling until later in a text. (She is afraid to be vulnerable, and she also cant handle adult communicaiton well) For a sec when I read the text I felt relieved for some reason because I was finally able to understand her point of view but after two months, it's been engraved into my mind and I can't stop thinking about my disgusting behaviours. (I see where you are coming from, it takes a lot of courage to confront someone and share openly how you feel, and when you did it is where she minimized how you felt. I feel like what your friend did actually triggered you because in the past you have experienced this as well) I'm now scared to confront people. (Its understandable after what happened in your past and with her. I feel like at times it can be quite scary, but at the same time its so important to check people behavior, reaction and words when you communicate with "I feel". If their behavior is calm, understanding and loving then you have a good friend there, but if they behave angry, minimize how you feel and put you down is where they will never be a good friend for you. We all have our struggles and insecurities, but its important to distance yourself from people like her) Recently I've just received messages that everyone I've ask to go out with cancelled on me. I know that it's not their fault and it can't be helped but I can't help but feel betrayed and unwanted. (I do see where you are coming from, but be very careful when it comes to feeling betrayed and unwanted because this has to do more with how you felt as a child than what they are doing at the moment.) This instance of others canceling on me has been happening for the last two months and I really can't take it anymore. (Its definetly a frustrating situation when they keep doing it a lot. This is where its so important to not invest on them or keep asking them because through their actions they are communicating they don't value your time. I understand you cant take it anymore and ir hurts, but check their level of investment vs your level of investment. Whos investing more?) I'm scared to confront anyone because I don't want the same thing to happen again with friend A. (Your first friend comes across as selfish to me, so this usually means she has a lot of anxiety which will make her get triggered and defensive. It's next to impossible to have an adult communication with friend A because she is very immature.) I don't know how I should be feeling, what I should do and if my actions was right. (It's normal to feel upset, sad, down, frutrated, scared, annoyed and anxious etc because of they way your friends have been treating you. I understand why you would feel scared to confront them, but healthy adult communication will let you know how much they care and if they are worth the investment)