Kicked to the curb
After 4 years of a roller coaster of a friendship, it has finally come to an end and I am heart broken. My best friend is getting married next year and I was a bridesmaid in the wedding. After a night of hanging out with the other bridesmaids (used to be friends) Wednesday I got a text from my best friend saying that I am kicked out of her wedding and she no longer wants to be apart of my life. I am so confused and sad because I supported her with every decision and I worked really hard for this wedding. 2 weeks prior to this message she was messaging me and telling me that she was going to kick out (let's say name is Manda) out her life because she is a terrible person, and a friend. She sent me some nasty messages about Manda and now after hanging out with Manda one night I I kicked to the curb. I'm lost and confused. Any ideas on how to get past this?
@deathrose001
That sounds awful, I'm so sorry that you've been ditched like that by someone you thought you could trust! It was very cruel of her to drop you like that and it shows how little she thought of your friendship and you to be able to drop you without any worry. She sounds like a horrible person, especially how she spoke of Manda. If she can talk about a 'friend' like that, then you can imagine what she's said about you to others. That's not a true friendship!
This will feel like any other break-up. You need to mourn the friendship like you would mourn a romantic relationship. Take time for yourself, cry it out and try to move forward without her. Focus on the things she's done to wrong you, really ask yourself if she's actually a good friend/person for things she's said and done in the past and how she's treated you now. You might find it helpful to write them down and refer back to them.
And I hope that if she did ever reach out to you again in the future, asking to be friends again, that you don't give in and accept it. I've heard of some women dropping their 'friends' before a wedding to reduce costs and then asking for them to be friends again afterwards.
Again, I'm so sorry that this has happened, I can only imagine how you must be feeling, but you're strong. You can get through this. All the best!
Thank you so much for your words. My boyfriend and my other friends said the same thing. I am not going to accept her apology and the friendship again. I know she didn't drop me of cost because she needs 6 bridemaids for the 6 groomsmen. So something was said somewhere and was not brought my attention.
@deathrose001
I'm glad that you have people around you who can support you and are helping you get through this and see that she's not someone you want to keep in your life. You will get through this, she shouldn't get off lightly for treating you so poorly!
Thank you so much. Your reassurance has definalty helped me
@deathrose001
You're very welcome, I'm happy to have been able to help you. Take care of yourself <3
Sounds familiar. I feel your pain.
@deathrose001 i am so sorry to hear that i was kinda going through something similar two weeks ago we got into a arugment and i got mad at him due to him not respecting my wishes of wanting to be left alone so he kinda got what he deserved and he got mad and blocked me but the friendship was very toxic for 8 years in a half so.
Yeah. It's not easy loosing someone, even if it was toxic cause there is a reason the friendship lasted that long. I am way less sad about it. All my friends are really supportive and are happy im not friends with her anymore. And I never got a message from anyone in the wedding to see if I was okay, so that just shows what kind of people they are. I am sorry to hear about your 8 years friendship and I really hope you can find a better guy friend who will support you and not be toxic💜
@deathrose001 yeah i don't think he understood social cues much when i said to him i want to be left alone so he wasn't respectful and i feel like i over shared too much with him, i was only disrespectful due to being frusturated with his beahviour and lack of showing that i didn't want to talk to him i was emtionally drained and felt sad my grief seems to have losen up since two weeks ago it always gets complicated when a guy starts to like you more then a friend.
Yes I also went through the same thing with my guy friend. 10 years of friendship and when I started dating my boyfriend now, for some reason he decided to tell me he loved me and I told him that he was just my friend and he didn't take it well.. so I hope you are doing okay its not easy. Don't feel bad for over sharing. It's okay and I did the same he knew everything about me. But he no longer does cause I have changed so much that only my boyfriend knows me now
@deathrose001 yeah and the good thing is we have no mutal friends so no drama or gopssip and he had depression and anxiety so it made the friendship get toxic over time but honetly i don't do good with people who have too many emotional issues its frusturating when you don't know how to help.
Yes it is frustrating. I have depression and anxiety and my boyfriend didn't know how to help at all. I did yell him when I needed help and what I needed him to do amd he can now help me im any situation.
@deathrose001 its tough i thought he was a best guy friend but i dobut it at this point my Threapist said it takes time for some people to ever fully recover from depression she said it can take years and that made sense.