My mentally ill friend disappears every once in a while... help.
Hello everyone. I'm having a hard situation and need advice.
I have this very good friend since we were 17 years old (23 now). We bonded over the fact we both had blogs and we used to write about your mental health. Quickly we started supporting each other. She used to suffer from an abusive father, she had anorexia, bulimia and depression. She was also rapped by her ex boyfriend. Needless to say she struggled alot and sadly turned into self harm.
After many years I finally convinced her to get a therapist which she did. Nowdays she is taking a masters because she graduated from law school and she has a fantastic boyfriend.
Thing is in all these years we know each other there are periods of time she disappears. I never understood why. And this is happening now, since october I haven't talked to her. Yet yesterday (my birthday) she sent me 3 huge long texts saying stuff like "I might want to end it all but I love you, you were my friend when I needed one the most" and "I know you might hate me but I'll always be here for you even when you're at your worst". So I don't get it!!!
I wonder if she stopps talking to me because I remind her of her own bad mental health? or is it because she thinks she's a bad influence for me to recover?
All I got to know was a late text around late october that she told me she was having relapses and thanks to her boyfriend she's still around.
Please help me... she's my one and truly friend. I never someone as genuine and smart as her. She's one of a kind and I love her alot because she's amazing. I want to help her or at least once in a while chat... Everytime I reply to her texts I know she see's it but doesn't reply... can anyone tell me why? Any ideas? This is making me so depressed....
@Booklover95
As someone who has also been in a similar situation, it's important to remember what's going on in her head. I've realized through my own friendship with someone who struggles with depression, anxiety, panic attacks, etc. that they need time to breathe and be left alone, even if it means cutting themselves off from others for periods of time. It's very easy for people like this to get so caught up in their issues that they forget about everyone who wants to help them. The best thing you can do is reach out, tell them that you want to be supportive, and reinforce this when they go through difficult periods. Remind them that you're not giving up on them. Finding time to be together is also important as it strengthens the friendship and helps them realize that you're really willing to be there for them. This is important because they often have the mindset of "I don't want to ask for help because I just annoy everyone".
