No friends and can not get a girl to even go out with me.
Hello, I just need to explain my situation. First of all i am alone. I do have grandparents but they are old and do not understand what i am going true. they told me it is not normal. So i am currentely in college and going true a big phase where i have no one to do anything with for 3 years now. I have nothing to show for myself and it is getting me down. every time i see a cuple i get mad. every time i see a group of friends i get sad too. I do not know why. i did try to integrate but i can not make myself any room. I intrude and somtimes i am told i have no idea what the subject is. As i do not have any skills in real life. I do not know even how friendships should work. So i get sad run home and blame myself. I have tried dating sites and meetup but it did not work people are the same there as anywhere i go.
Also my grades have been low. A c+ is nothing and is worthless, I can not get anyone to stay with me and give me a hand and it frustrates me as teachers are busy and have their own lives. So i am alone with a big question about what the hell to do.
Finaly, The family i had fell apart real fast and so i have alwasefelt great hate for those more fortunate then me. I even cast my mother out of my life. A form of punishment. Now i know i can not simply have a sister or create one but this is also why i am in desperate need of affection. no one in my family is my age. youngeest member is 67 and i am 24. We can not relate. So being my self i am one that has been alone all my life with no emotional support
If anyone has any suggestions please respond with your ideas.
If you keepdowngrading yourself and looking at all the negative parts, of course you're going to be depressed! You sound like my mother. I was never close with her, for many reasons, but another was because she always cried and wanted sympathy. Be independant and stand on your own two feet. You'll feel so much better conquering those issues w/o help from people who just want something in return and in all reality they could care less. I always wear that sheildb/c the only real person you can trust in life is yourself!
It might be easy to say for you but for me who has not interacted with anyone socialy for 3 years and more i have my reasons to be down as i was alwase told after high school it will be better. it was not. Nothing changed i am the lesser being here being picked on and i can stand up for all i want at the end of the day i am alone and there is things i want that i can not get or have even for a short instance.
So you're also anti-social? Well everybody needs someone .. a friend or a significant other. I am married but I still wear a shield around myself .. I trust my husband, but at times, I'm anxious for no reason. People are people. I'm around mostly hispanics everyday fixing their cars and my husband hastainterpret for the people who no hablaingles. lol U are prolly a great person .. but looking at yourself like nothing. Stop doing that. It makes things worse.
I am nothing special. I did go out but how do you approch a group of friends when you have nothing to talk about? How do you get interest? i do not get anyone interested in me not that i do not want to it is just i have done nothing worth mentioning. I can say i love the sights of the city but what else may i talk about? also how do you break the ice with somone without being impolite? As if they are having a conversation, they have no room for your word
Every kids birthday or holiday or graduation or w/e celebration to use to get drunk, hispanicsthrow a party/picnic .. especially in the summer. My sister in law doesn't speak Ingles .. a lot of times they all speak in Spanish, so I gotta start the conversation! Anything! I like football, cars, I used to go to school for cosmetology/pharmacy so I can talk about drugs and ask the women about hair/makeup stuff ... I have a parrot named Snoopy who speaks better Spanish than me! lol Anything .. music .. The bad things I keep out.
how dose that work for me? I can not go simply anywhere in the summer people do not want to be botherd by some random guy who shows up. i have gotten it and i know how it feels to be rejected as i have been all my life. i can not get into any groups, i have tried and said hi to some of them but they tell me to get lost in a nice way. and people say they will contact me without knowing my number? how offensive is that. I can go to a store and ask things but a sales woman wants to see and a woman looking for makeup dose not need advice from a guy as they usualy come in groups. even if they were alone, what do i say, that looks good on you? that is a passing remark. not somthingto start a conversation or friendship with.
How old r u? I'm 29 .. women are more self conscious than men. We just dont realize that til we get older. I mean, all men need is a woman to cook, clean, and give him the cookie .. Any woman too stubborn or egotistical to find a nice, hard working man .. she can kick my [edited]!
Like that comment down there .. Be clean and neat .. please. Just be yourself! If you like hunting .. doing drywall .. fixing cars .. good stuff
[Edited by moderator;please keep the forums safe for everyone. No derogatoryremarks.]
I do not know any of that. i have no usful skill. All i know is how to read and write but that is usless. it is not somthing to impress somone with. i am not in great shape ether as i keep being fed by my grandma who would not stop cooking and i feel bad about trowing food away. I know women get more mature when they are older but i have no girl that asked me if i wanted to go out with them. why is it so unfaire for me? why can a guy get a girl with a few words while i can not in many minuts.
okay I'm going to help you out as much as I can.
first of all: EVERYONE can make friends. it may seem as if you don't fit in, but honestly, you just haven't found the right group of people yet. making friends can be a lot of fun, too; I know I enjoy making a new friend. it makes me happy and it will make you happytoo.
1. Be clean and look neat. Having good hygiene is a big part of making friends.
2. Look confident, even if you aren't. People may find it easier to talk to you if you have good posture and seem somewhat confident in yourself. Don't let your grades get you down!!!! Just focus on what you can do to improve them. Study hard, pay attention, and try to take some good notes to help you with homework. Also, believe it or not: eating right will improve the way your brain works and will keep you more alert and awake. So if you're eating junk food all the time, try to lay off and get some healthy food to help your brain to stay healthy and strong.
3. Before you meet someone, you should try to pick someone that has the same general style as you, and someone that looks friendly. imsure you're not the ONLY one on campus that isn't in a group. maybe youcan even make your own group!
4. Introduce yourself, smile, ask the person's name. "Hey, I'm (name), what's your name?" Start a conversation; a good and interesting one. talk about a class that both of you are taking, ask them how their classes are going, and ask how theirday is going so far.
5. Listen. You don't have to talk all the time. If you get on a good subject and the person is comfortably talking about it: let them talk! listening is just as important as knowing what to say.
6. Exchange phone numbers or any kind of contact information. You just made a friend, you want to keep in touch with them. Later you can call them and ask if they have time to hang out and agree on a time together. Maybe even tell them they can invite a friend if they want. Going to a new movie is good, something you think looks interesting. after the movie you can go to a restaurant and hang out to just talk for awhile.
Try not to be clingy, Stay positive, Be yourself!! wear comfortable but nice clothes; you can also invite them to study with you somewhere if you're in a class together.
I really hope this helps you. Good luck! 😃😃😃
I have tried this and i have not have sucess. i think by doing this i am forcing it on them. I will try again but i do not feel like it is getting me anywhere. getting into a group is hard and money is tight now so i can not dress in anything good.
Excellent thoughts. For me, personally, I would move No. 5 to the top of the list. Listening, and letting people know that you're listening, is a signal to them that (1) you care about them, (2) you are complimenting them by being interested in their life, and (3) stops you from saying something that may be taken the wrong way. I LOOOOVE to talk, but my strongest relationships are those where I listen listen listen. Typically they then come to me and ask me for advise (and then I get to talk! 
A little. I still try to listen listen listen, evening when giving advice, because if I don't have a clear understanding of their problem, I can't help. And, often people know what they need/want to do anyway. Listening helps them come to the conclusion themselves about what is best for them). They know that I care (and I didn't shoot myself in the foot earlier by saying something wrong).
I think my main suggestion right now would be for you totry and figure out what sort of things interest you. It doesn't matter what it is. Just one thing gives you a place to start. The reason for this is because it gives you at least one thing you can talk about.
The other suggestion would be for you tospend time chatting with people online.From what it sounds like, you weren't raised in an environmentwhich was conducive to learning social skills (at least not those that are particularly effective with your peers).Chatting online can help you develop some of these skills, like recognizing verbal cues, small talk, cracking jokes, and helping you learn how to articulate what you want to convey(The internet is a more forigiving medium because it allows you to edit before you send the message).
Once you feel more comfortable with that, you can move onto trying your communication skills in the real world. Then you can start playing around with non-verbal communication, like body language, tone, expression, gestures, etc.