She thinks I went against her and now I am being avoided/ignored. Feeling hopeless and confused.

Sorry for the lengthy letter, but I feel the introduction at the beginning, the minor details, and some examples are necessary for me to elaborate on the issue. I have kept all my opinions outside (except the ones in red), so the reader can get a fair idea on the issue.

Background into my issue. The issue is regarding my co-worker who I consider to be my mother (call her April). We were very close before the problem arose. We have another co-worker (call her Emily) who is known in the department as being very uncooperative and negligence at her work (I was told by another employee in another department that Emily was trouble at a prior company she worked with also). Problem is, April and I both have to deal with Emily and have always been lied to and made to go around in circles on her work production (April and I are responsible for different assignments where Emily reports to us).

Well, I got tired of Emily's lack of cooperation and was trying to get her to understand my position and the extra workload April and I were taking on because of her lack of cooperation. This was a bad idea and Emily took this as an opportunity to start manipulating me against the department....manager, others, and especially April. I should have known better because the kind of person she is, slick at everything. She was trying to get me to go against April so she could get away playing ball between us (tell me she is working for April and vice versa, but no work gets done).

One day Emily made an inappropriate comment about April and I was upset (she badmouthed April months prior and I told April back then). During the same week, Emily was really argumentative towards April for a project that April was in charge of. The following week, April calls me over to her desk to show me an email that Emily had sent her – really bad and belittling. Well, April was really holding her temper from the prior week and that email. I just knew Emily was going to get called in by the manager and would have said something bad about April to manager. So, I told April about her comment she made the week prior. During the conversation, Aprils phone rings, so I walked back to my desk.

At my desk, Emily walks over to me to ask a random question (she had an idea that April was talking to me about her email and was trying to get me to reveal this, so she could get April in trouble). During this questioning, April walks to the desk next to me to hear what we were talking about. After Emily was done with questioning me, April calls Emily to her desk. April had to confront Emily about her comment to me. Afterward the ordeal, Emily walks by me and tells me that she wanted to talk to me. I wasnt going to, but I went to her desk because I knew I was going to be called out (she had done that to me before). I admitted to telling about her to April, so she wouldnt play games to get April in trouble.

This is where the problem happened. Apparently, April thought that I went against her and that I felt bad for Emily (and disagreed with her confronting Emily). When I walked over to Emily, I saw April storm into the managers office to tell on Emily. When I was finished talking to Emily and when April came out, I went to her to explain what I went to Emily about, but she replied, Not right now Jeffery, I am really aggravated. Also, when I was at Emilys desk, Emily told me that April had asked her during the confrontation what she was talking to me about at my desk. I went to April the following week to apologize (for aggravating her…I didnt knew she was mad at me, took me 1 month to be sure) and she told me that she had also heard something from another co-worker about Emily badmouthing her, so the manager also talked to Emily about this. April was trying to tell me that I felt bad for Emily, but I am not the only reason she got scolded.

It has been 6 months now and April has been acting very cold towards me. This is where I asked many questions and learned about April. She has anxious preoccupied attachment. Yes, she could be emotional. She would come to me for reassurance and to calm her down when upset. I noticed at earlier instances, April would tell me some information and knew I wouldnt tell anyone, but I always felt she had doubts about me. After she would tell me something, and when I would go talk to someone else, she would walk past to make sure I wasnt talking about what she told me.

I do not think that she is insecure/sensitive like this about others. Another instance, April was talking to me about something last year and apparently I was tired and did not seem involved in her conversation…she noticed. She stated twice in the conversation, Sorry, you have to listen to me to which I said I dont mind. But she was acting kind of strange afterwards and I just left her alone for some time. Then when the project came up in 3rd paragraph, I was helping her with paperwork. She was being nice and was telling me, If it wasnt for you, it would have taken me forever and Where are you when you are in need. I am thinking since I was leaving her alone for some time, she saw me being nice to her and was excited once again at me showing interest in her (is this being clingy?). Thats why she called me over for Emilys email…she needed me to calm her down.

Now, it has been that April does not acknowledge my presence in meetings. Does not come to me for help on the things that I would previously helped her with. I went to her a few times and tried starting a conversation with her and she lashed out at me… Yeh, WHAT!.... or show anger. When I go to her for work questions and she would always say, Here we go!. I tried to talk to her about this problem and she always said she was busy. Sent an email once and she replied that I would have to go to her desk to talk. Finally, one day I forced her to tell me what was wrong, she just replied that everything is fine and turns her back against me. Never makes eye contact with me…or I get the angry look. Avoids me in hallways…one day, she storms the other way from me. Today, I was in the break-room. She sees me and walks away.

Like I said earlier, April is like a mother to me. I really respect and care for her. She never raised her voice or acted cold with me even when she was in a bad mood. She would be feeling sick and not in the mood, I could walk to her, and she would be the warm person that she is. She might seem like a bad person, but she really is not. Honestly, I do get attached to people and things (and I am really attached to her), but I realize this. It would be easy to let this go if she just forgot about this and was indifferent. But the anger and the ostracizing is what is upsetting me.

I really dont get where this difference is coming from and I am really at a loss. She would talk to me about Emily and her lack cooperation and made sure that Emily hears it (many times Emily would walk past because she knew we were talking about her work production. When I would try to alert April, she would just be like, I know, I talked louder because she walked past. I want her to know.) Right now, she and Emily are talking like normal co-workers and have no differences, but I am being shunned. There was another argument between them, but it went back to normal within a day. What did I do?

If April didnt care about Emily overhearing us talking about her, then why is she upset that I went to Emily after the confrontation/ordeal? Was April paranoid because I might have betrayed her and told Emily about the email? Or did she felt I devalued the relationship by feeling bad for Emily? What does the behavior say about April? One second I feel that she really doesnt care, but another I feel that she is only masking hurt. All this, too, is her imagination. I went to Emily, so she wouldn't get in trouble.

Thank you all for keeping up with me.