can't stop projecting my past trauma onto my new friend

a past relationship really left dents in my head and it lead me to chronically overthink small things i see as "hints" that my newer guy friend that i made, is manipulating me. when he in fact isn't.

i keep looking for red flags in fear of getting manipulated. i feel myself slipping and i don't know when it's appropriate to make boundaries. i feel like i need to take a step back and not talk to him because every time i talk to him i'm so guarded and closed off, i don't feel like i'm myself, i don't feel like i can act like myself, and he didn't even do anything wrong. i'm just having this big trauma response and it isn't fun.

he knows about the shitty ex but doesn't know details and i don't think he's aware how an emotionally manipulative relationship can completely ruin the way you view things.

i feel like he doesn't care enough about me, for me to like. spew this stuff out because i'm not his girlfriend. but i don't want to be misunderstood.

yeah i do like him but this isn't "me giving myself away" kind of talk. i don't want to scare him off. my ex traumatised the way i view men in general. that's why i feel like i need to bring it up. i don't know how to start wording it without it sounding weird. but it's hurting really bad, i just want to feel relaxed around him and feel good to be his friend, because it is great. but it just got worse in the last few weeks. the trauma is coming out since i couldn't process it eariler. i'm sure he'd be understanding. but this is hard.