obsessive friendship

I found this girl online who I was so jealous of I started to kind of fall in love. I was obsessed with her, and she barely cared. Now looking back, I think she hated me. It was odd, this was the first time anything like this had happened. I know people talk about how scary it has to have a friend who’s obsessed with you, and I’d imagine on the other side it looks terrifying. It was pretty bad limerence, but not in the romantic sense. I usually find people I idealize, and I look at them like they’re perfect. This time was different. It was unusual and although I never told her I’m sure she could feel it. I want to feel it again, I know it’s unhealthy but it gives me something to think about. Every time she talked to me, I felt joy. Only joy and adrenaline. It’s like all my problems went away. I felt that I wanted to become her in a way, she was everything I wanted. I broke off that friendship myself, and now I want it back. I used to think about her every day, and I could physically feel my heart hurting for her. I do want some answers and help, and I hope this doesn’t scare anyone, I’m just unwell.