2 week space with 3 kids.
my fiance recently had told me she wanted space and so i respected that.. but for the reasons she wants it kind of doesn’t really resonate with me, we have been away from each other 5 days now, her only bringing one of 3 kids to me and then leaving the other 2 where we live with her mom.. during all of this she tells me that she’s taking the other 2 kids to her friends and the park and hanging out with people.. and i just don’t really know why now? i’ve been asking for months and years to take our kids outside and to parks and adventures and she just always dismissed what i was saying, everytime i talk about us or how i feel and how i wanna fix it she approaches everything i say with, i don’t wanna talk about it for 2 weeks but to me being taken away from my kids having a lack of clothes and personal belongings along with transportation just makes me upset to say the least, she got the car the house the kids and i settled for 2 weeks with nobody but myself and my son and it hurts feeling like im neglecting my other kids because she won’t sit over here with me she just wants to drop them off and leave, i guess all im getting at is, is this worth fixing or is she just keeping me in her back pocket till she feels ready to bring me home.. her mom has a huge play being the reason i was taken out of our home because she just has a personal opinion on relationships but i help with bills me and my fiance share a job at amazon 10 hours a night and we both pay bills but now i have to work and pay bills for 2 weeks at a place i don’t reside and hear everyday how it’s just 2 weeks but it hurts and it hurts feeling like her mom was the deciding factor because we never have privacy or alone time and throughout this 5 year journey all i’ve wanted is a family without a mother in law judging constantly.. im just looking for something to help me through this 2 week period or if this relationship will ever heal.
@dsw445701
I understand. Its so hard when we can't be with those that we love. You describe a lot of loss - loss of access to your children, loss of the security of a place to live, loss of mobility and all those things are related to one person. So it's natural that you feel some resentment towards that person.
I used to wonder "why?", a lot. With time I learnt that it can be quite damaging. Because what it communicates is a lack of trust in the other person's motives. If we believe and trust in the other person, then we trust that they have good reason.
So, you might like to think about why there is a lack of trust, how that might be making your partner feel, and whether you can regain it.
I know it is hard to look at ourselves when someone has hurt us. But we cannot change or control another person, we can only control how we respond to that hurt. Your anger and resentment is valid and understandable. But do you want to respond with anger and resentment. Or compassion and love? Which would you like your children to see and learn from?
