3 Myths About Love to Let Go of as You Grow Up

1. Opposite poles attract.

This does not mean that different people cannot fall in love with each other; it simply means that the differences aren’t the reason for their bond. The simple, boring truth is that similarity and compatibility in values and priorities are what ensure a long and satisfying relationship. Then what is it that makes us choose partners so different from us? There are two possible reasons, according to researchers Zsófia Csajbók and Peter Jonason:

1. Yin-yang thinking: This is a thought process that mistakes the volatility of an "opposites" relationship for love. While the differences could add to the drama and spice in your relationship, they might never give you the peace, comfort, or security that love should ensure.
2. Childhood experiences: People who are attracted to the "opposites attract" school might be emulating relationships they saw when growing up—such as having extremely dissimilar parents.

2. The teen fantasy

A study published in the Journal of Couple and Relationship Therapy that examined teenagers’ "relationship cognitions" explained that adolescents, mostly boys, can sometimes have highly risky ways of viewing and thinking about relationships. These include believing in "blind love," i.e., thinking that feelings of love alone are enough to sustain a relationship, sliding into new relationships instead of pacing themselves, and even being tolerant towards controlling behaviors like manipulation and abuse.

3. Till death do us part

Relationships, even the most beautiful and loving ones, may not last forever. And even when they do, the dynamic of the relationship can change dramatically.

Love should be what you want it to be. However, it is undeniably complex and dynamic. Tying yourself down to a one-dimensional image in your head that has no room for you or your partner’s desires may burn your relationship out.

Read the complete article available at Psychology Today!

Reflection:

What are some other myths about love that you've heard?

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