7 Months No Contact After a 5-Year Relationship — Do I Reach Out?
I’m a 32-year-old male looking for honest advice.
I was in a 5-year relationship. She’s eight years younger than me and is 24 now. She left on June 14, and June 24 was the last day we spoke. After she moved out, she came back three Mondays in a row and we talked for hours on my lawn. She had a lot of trauma and couldn’t come inside, but the conversations were deep. After that, contact stopped.
I initiated no contact. At the time, I thought it was the best option — to protect her from me and rip the Band-Aid off instead of dragging things out.
It’s now been seven months.
I take responsibility for my part. I was emotionally closed off, withheld affection, and didn’t fully show up. I didn’t cheat or abuse her, but I let the relationship slowly die. During these months, I got sober and gained a lot of clarity.
We truly loved each other, and I still feel like she’s my soulmate.
My question is: do I reach out after seven months, wait longer, or leave it alone and let her reach out if she wants to?
I don’t want to reopen wounds or act from fear or desperation. I’m trying to make a grounded, respectful decision.
Any perspective is appreciated.
Just to add I was addicted to alcohol for the first 3 years and weed the last 2 years I’m completely sober now and feel like I can be the man she wants..
I just don’t know what todo.
@enthusiasticDog5940
I think you can contact in just a how are you doing and casual conversation.
so many times, when people cut or lost contact both sides think about it but assume the other will call etc.
A simple call or text can get you the answer they either respond or not, but you made the gesture.
I I think I’m scared of reaching out. If she doesn’t feel the same anymore, it would break me. I still want her back, and I know I’m in a better place now—but being rejected by the person I loved would hurt more than I know how to handle. By not messaging her, I get to keep a sliver of hope alive.
@enthusiasticDog5940,
toughTiger6481 gave you decent advice.
Not reaching out is not holding on to hope but creating an illusion and letting life bypassing you.
@dukeofdearham
I agree and you both are correct I just need to build up the courage.. I fear I won’t get the response I want and I’m living in a state of constant wonder.