Advice and guidance .
Me and my girlfriend are on a break of sorts. We still live together which makes things complicated, on top of everything else that makes it complicated. She says I’ve been emotionally unavailable for around 6 months. She brought up her leaving the house and crying, but when I tried to interject and figure out what was going on, there was a lot of telling me it didn’t matter and didn’t care. Even now when I try to pry and ask what it is in particular that I have done that has made her feel less than. She’s just not willing to tell me anything or give me insight. So where do I start? What are things I can start doing more of or improve on? I’m very much in love with her, and I’m willing to take accountability for what I’ve done, or haven’t done. I just don’t know where to start.
@Jfab
You are already making progress by wanting to resolve the issue and trying to work on yourself. I kind of experienced something similar (still am in the situation) and tried to google thing before taking couples therapy. While googling, I found out about attachment styles. From what you said so far, it seems like you have an avoidant attachment style and your girlfriend is anxious attachment style. I am no expert, I am just suggesting you to take a look and see if that explains the conflicts you guys are experiencing. If that's the case, then there are tons of information available online on how to deal with the conflicts and how to communicate better. Just knowing the issues solves half of the problem really.
Also, I would suggest, just go and talk to her. Tell her how much you love her, that will reassure her for the time being. Ask her how you can be more available to her. But do not lose yourself while doing so. Take care of yourself too.
I really admire the efforts you are putting into your relationship and working on yourself takes a lot of courage. I would say, you're already winning against the troubles life has presented to you. Good luck!