Advice please
How do I have a good communication with my husband when all he does is never listen and just fights to every sentence i have to say?
I really feel like we are disconnected for a very long time. And when we argued, I'll be the one who stay silent because I don't want it to get more worse. I'm so stress about this, i feel like leaving.
@sympatheticChestnut4948 That sounds incredibly painful and lonely. Feeling unheard by the person you’re closest to can slowly wear you down, and it makes sense that staying silent feels like the only way to keep things from exploding. Carrying that stress for so long, especially while feeling disconnected, can make everything feel heavy and overwhelming. It’s understandable that you’re feeling this torn and thinking about leaving what you’re feeling matters, and you don’t deserve to feel invisible in your own marriage.
@sympatheticChestnut4948
It is learning to communicate, not talk. talking is not communication.
It took me several years fighting it. I finally took a deep breath and reevaluated how I approached the situation.
Review your fights... how you communicate... does he or you use phrases like " your always" or "you never" do your statements encourage push back. We did some of this and so I am using the "I Feel" statements.
Example: "I feel you do not fully listen to me, that makes me feel ignored." When spouse started trying to push back, I said if I claimed a fact, you always do something fine push back but when I tell you how "I feel" you cannot tell me how I FEEL.
This shut up his pushback down and he started listening hoping I would resort to something he could fight but instead we started to communicate better.