Advice please
So I met this boy on Wizz, like a joke. And I guess things started getting serious and we started dating. It's been about over a year and I'm starting to lose attraction towards him like I think he's kind of ugly. But maybe I'm scared to leave him bc I'm scared that no one will ever love me the way he does. Now Ik im young and all but l've
genuinely made a relationship with his little sister and his entire family knows abt me and supports me and likes me. I don't want to lose that validation
I know how this makes me sound and maybe that's who I am. Maybe I'm not the good person I think I am and just need some real people to give me some real advice and not sugarcoating
I've tired breaking up with him but he genuinely doesn't want to and says he'll wait for me. Currently we're not together but we still act like we are like we say love you and all. Also it's like. He's still an amazing friend to me like I've told him things that no one knows and he's been here for me. I care about him still and love him as a person but maybe not romantically. I desperately need advice and a reality check. Please try and not to judge, I alrdy judge myself enough.
It's nice to get attention and reassurance that your feelings are important. We all need support but validation can come from yourself and/or venting on here.
Have you actually said, the truth is, I am not attracted to you and love you only as a friend? That way he can better understand this is not temporary but a permanent issue.
I always see it like, I can value someone and appreciate them but I never want to lead them on or play with their feelings, because I do not want anyone doing that to me.
By having someone as a safety net, you and he are stuck, not quite fulfilling your own potential happiness.
Him with someone that will go ga ga over his appearance and you being smitten with someone that you find appealing both in personality and looks.
How though? It’s like. It makes me feel like a terrible person but I love him. I care so so much about him. I want to take care of him and love him. It’s just the entire relationship my friends and sister have been like he’s ugly or wtv and so my feelings towards him changed drastically. In a way I do hope he physically changes but I don’t want to lose him but I know that he deserves someone who never thinks of him that way. I’m so sorry for responding so late. I had an emergency.
@brightBunny1496
Losing attraction is deeper than actual looks IMO. nothing is surface level. If you were attracted to him before... What changed?
Are you looking at him in a different way? Perhaps if your friends or others would think he is attractive?
I have dated someone who on surface I did not think was good looking, but our connection made them so much more attractive to me. At times especially if in disagreement I have seen them as less attractive in those moments when frustrated with them.
In reverse I have met some who were by society standard were really attractive, but their personalities made them ugly to me.
I understand you feel welcome and liked by family etc and you do not want to lose that. A relationship cannot be held together because of other people around the relationship. It sucks but sometimes we lose others as the relationship ends. Staying friends is not fair to him if his heart is still in it.
Yea i completely understand. It’s just it breaks my heart to know that his sister will ask of me and I won’t be there. Again it’s like I am too the type of person that will stop liking someone bc of their personality and if I was never in a relationship with him. I would for sure want him as my friend but for my relationship I want someone who I feel attracted to. But I love him. And I can’t explain that it’s so weird. I think I just may be a bad person.
@brightBunny1496
No, you are not a bad person at all we have feelings for some and not for others.
Sometimes a person who fits most of the qualities we think we want in a partner but there is just something missing .... it means keep looking.