Am I enough for someone?
I'll make the backstory just a few sentences:
Got into a relationship in 2020. I was a broke college student studing the same field as my ex gf. She said she never felt like a priority because I couldn't plan dates or take her to a park. I didn't have a car because all my mom went towards school. Her parents also didn't like that I didn't plan dates, meanwhile her dad was a doctor and acted like COVID wasn't happening.
I am finally working, having finished school, and between my salary job and weekend side job, I make 90k a year. I have 10k in credit cards to pay off and I still live at home, I just turned 26.
I feel like I "did everything right" and still got punished for it.
I don't mean to sound like I'm sorry for myself since I know people have things a lot worse, but she was with me when I had nothing, a year before my life changes, she leaves, after having stuck by side for 2 years. Her parents gave her a ultimatum to break up with me or she "wouldn't have parents" anymore. She's 24 now.
Am I enough?
*all my money
@toughPapaya1551 You are hurting and I imagine feeling betrayed. I’m not ignoring that when I say to you, you’ve got to be enough for you. Don’t spend your time looking back. Someone out there deserves your attention. Covid denying Dr. Stingy-Pants Sticupdabutt doesn’t deserve to live rent free in your noggin. People with lots of money aren’t always in touch with reality when it comes to understanding those without it. And maybe there is some small truth to what they are saying. Maybe you didn’t do everything you should have in that relationship…but, that is life, we all fail a little in some areas and win in others. Lessons learned, we do better in the next relationship. Move on. Learn to love yourself too.
So her parents were right to manipulate a break up because I was a broke college student?
@toughPapaya1551,
nobody said that.
Learn to love yourself. Let it be.
@toughPapaya1551 What I meant was on a feeling-level maybe little miss Sticupdabutt thought she wasn’t getting enough from the relationship. Maybe that was her idea. Maybe she mentioned that to her mom and maybe the parents rallied around her. Or they don’t understand how you couldn’t have pulled $$$$ out of your behind and flown their daughter around the world. You probably can’t really do adequate forensics around their state of mind or anything. I think that often the “reason” given for a breakup is b.s. You’ll wear yourself out trying to chase down anything that makes sense. BUT sometimes we have the opportunity to see if we had any negative affect on the relationship. Maybe she didn’t want attention that required money. OR maybe the lack of money attention is just her chicken poop way of making up a story to dump you. OR maybe she and her family are wackadoodle cookoo birds and you really dogged a bullet. Point is, learn from the experience whatever you can, but don’t spend too much time looking back at the dumpster fire. Turn around and head out into the world and find a girl who enjoys you company. It’s a lot more fun to focus your energy on building new relationships…letting the past go is loving toward yourself. If you love yourself you’ll be attractive to others. AND you will always have one primary relationship for life, and that is with you. A good relationship with yourself helps carry you through the rough patches between relationships. You may find miss right next relationship OR she might be five more relationships away. You’re young. Tons and tons of life experiences ahead of you. Some of them are going to be about romantic relationships but don’t focus all of your life there. Do you want to face forward and take a broad view of all of the awesome possibilities in your life OR do you want to look at the dumpster fire behind you? It’s totally ok if you chose option two for now. You’ll get tired of it eventually. But my friend sooner is better than later.