Am I wrong?
So my boyfriend has been playing a lot of online games with his friends recently. This has caused me to kinda be left all on my own to an extent. He still talks to me and still kinda loves me. I’ve been getting anxious about the change because that’s just one of my features I guess. And a few days ago my anxiety got to me and I freaked out on him. I was just basically blowing up his phone begging for him to care about me. So today I decided to be a bit more mature. I made a plan to just tell him to form a plan to make me feel loved. We’ve been together over 2 years, in my mind it shouldn’t have been that hard. It apparently was. All he could come up with was “I’ll text you”. And to be clear I would want him too but I just wanted something more just to ensure I didn’t go crazy again. So I pushed for something more. And he got mad. I was trying to remain calm. He wasn’t having it. He called me high maintenance which hurt. I called him a ***. And a fight ensued. He claimed I didn’t appreciate him all because I was asking for a bit of additional love. I didn’t want anything major just to be clear and I told him that. I really just wanted the stuff he already does. I just wanted him to come up with it so that I knew he cared. And he kept talking about how I don’t appreciate what he does. And I kept talking about how I just wanted something small so I didn’t freak out. It was basically just going in circles like that for awhile. Eventually he literally said “I don’t care about you I guess” after I had asked him how he cared so much if he was calling me dramatic. That’s really it. He told me I can’t talk to him till I appreciate him.
@derpyBlueberry4222
No you are not wrong but neither is he....
I will explain in an example:
I have been in your place and I wanted basic gestures or something he would normally do to make me feel seen, special, and appreciated etc. I think he should know what I want.... gestures do not feel as genuine if we have to tell someone but without directions some feel overwhelmed trying to guess.
but he is thinking it has to be something bigger and that takes lots of effort etc and then becomes questioning what should he do.....He may feel put on the spot and then say "screw it" "I do not know what she wants." .. or do something we do not like and then risk more disagreement.
IT sucks but sometimes when we feel we need more attention because they are spending time etc involved with something else....... That we are clear about what type of things we are asking for ....
And if he thinks it is a high maintenance or is unsure about what things we like ... ASK for direction to what we would like. He most likely thinks you KNOW he cares about you and does not get that it needs to be shown regularly.
MOST relationships issues IMO start like this..... not on same page in communication and assuming they can read our minds about the small things........
