Anxiety and Miscommunication in Relationships
So my bf is the type to want space and I’m literally the exact opposite. I also have diagnosed anxiety and I feel like that makes it so much worse. For example 2 days ago we had a really serious conversation about us and what we would do to fix it and he even shared he wanted to break up. He said ultimately he just needs to see I’m making progress within myself regarding my anxiety but whenever I mess up I feel like he’s so quick to hold that against me and say I’m not making any progress.
For example today we argued because I was overthinking and he said he could tell and it reminded him of the argument we had a couple days ago. He said I wasn’t listening to him and I never let him talk, and he said that nothing is changing and there has been no progress. But I feel like there has been because yesterday I had really bad anxiety but I was able to deal with it on my own. I feel like he doesn’t give me credit where it’s due. But then he says I don’t listen which is sort of true because I always feel like I have to explain myself but I thought I was doing better today.
I guess i’m just trying to figure out how to give him space when he asks for it and how to deal with these arguments when they come up because I feel like he just holds against me and thinks that I’m not putting in any effort to change when I really am.
@maddyh308
It sounds like you and your boyfriend have conflicting personalities and needs. That has got to be painful for you as it sounds like you need more than he is able to offer. Do you know how you will navigate this challenge in the future?
it ducks because actually the last week or so has been going pretty good but we argued yesterday and he just snapped…i think it’s hard for him to always support my anxiety. he’s pushing me away now and is just being very short with his answers. i don’t know what to do.
I wish I could talk to you in person because I had the exact issue with my ex bf. Ended up breaking up. First of all don’t blame yourself to be anxious. It’s completely fine. When he needs his space ask about the duration like 2 hours z in that time make yourself busy with something you like or even going out. This is your part but he also should help you. He should support you not saying you did not progress or blame you. Be careful about narcissism
yes i will be careful for sure. i make sure to always ask for a certain amount of time and he does give it to me, so that’s good at least.
@maddyh308 try relationship counselling, or a third man/woman who can keep you two peaceful and discuss your views with.
i would love to but the thing is that i already go to regular therapy and idk how i could afford/have the time to go to my own therapy in addition to relationship counseling.
@maddyh308 Hi,thank you so much for sharing this,it can take a lot of effort!
thank you for being so supportive! this made me tear up. i don’t know i mean we’ve been doing pretty well recently but yesterday we had an argument and since then he’s been very dry, pushing me away. i saw him literally have a mental breakdown and it scared me. i’m just sad rn at this point…
@maddyh308 Relationship is hard, it's not all butterflies everyday....the true love is when they know about ur insecurity and everything and then if they love u or not....i am saying this alll because I had a break-up too 10 days ago from my 4 year ldr relationship.....so don't beg or do anything just be you they know what they are doing they know ur feelings and anxiety....and insecurity and you told me u also begged 3 times I did too 4 times but don't go again they need to learn themselves.... because *** u have that feeling too where deep down yk even if i beg now they may go again yk...I hope you understand I would say let them go and wait for them it may hurt u so much because it did hurt me so much 10 days no contact at alll from her side....hope u won't suffer like me and Good luck :)