Anxious attachment / anxiety
Hello, for sometime now I’ve been dealing with anxious attachment. I believe it developed in an unhealthy relationship that gave me trust issues, gaslit me a ton, and lack of support. This anxiety is more deeply rooted from childhood trauma grouping up in an unstable parenting household with reactful parents. As a protection system I learned to monitor people constantly.
Now I have entered into a new relationship, it’s honestly great and tons and tons of fun. We are soon to be dating 2 months. But I am starting to notice my anxiety is being triggered. I’m feeling on edge constantly and I can’t just let loose. It’s hard for me to get out of my anxious cycle once it has started. My partner is much more laid back and chill compared to how I am. I convince myself that my partner doesn’t care for me anymore but I have no reason to believe so. I just notice changes in his patterns that simply is just from being tired from work. I have deep fears of losing people I care about. Lacking self compassion, I’m really hard on myself and overthink things a lot. I’ve tried to look up solutions on healing and I’m honestly unsure of what to do or where to start. I would love to just live my life relaxed and more go with the flow type attitude, instead of my head running around in circles.
@lavenderTree2050
It is easy for anyone to worry and wonder where things are going in a fairly new relationship. i get the overthinking and questioning each possible change in behavior. with a laid back partner it can drive them away if our over thinking and worry starts effecting things.
I broke my over thinking by asking myself what did I really get out of it? mostly nothing ... I told myself... I was protecting myself but it was driving others away not protecting me. I missed opportunities and chances and in the end we do not always get a second chance. I made the choice to stop myself when the overthinking and worry starts. Face things good or bad with the attitude i will deal with it IF it happens not waste time about what if
and no i am not as laid back as some but even cutting the anxiety down 60% makes it a lot better
Have u considered taking psych meds? They can really be beneficial. It's amazing!
No I never have. I would think that it’s not addressing the issue but just brushing it away with medication.
No I never have. I would think that it’s not addressing the issue but just brushing it away with medication.
@lavenderTree2050,
ever considered therapy, like EMDR? It can do wonders.
I think there is nothing wrong with overthinking or feeling anxious itself. The risk however is that it becomes part of you, and you developing survival mechanisms to cope with it. Mechanisms that are triggered by the outside world, the closer someone is to you the heavier.
Don't allow that to happen to you.
Hello Dumeofhearham, thank you for your advice. No I have never considered or hear of that type of therapy. I do think it would be a good option but financially not sure if I could afford it. But I feel I’ve started to follow that path of it becoming a part of me so I’m acting now to help reverse it.
