Anyone deal with a partner grieving
My partner recently lose her grandpa. and that day she lost him she was very cuddly and leaning on me. but the next day she asked for a break. she said she still had love for me, and still wanted to be with me but she was so overwhelmed with everything that she couldnt feel. she was grieving hard and asked to breakup. she still wants me around and wants to hangout everynow and then. we still have plans. and shes still planning my bday. but it sucks. she says she still loves me but cant. and everytime i try to talk abt her feelings towards me she shuts it down and gets loud on me. she acts differently towards our friends than with me. im js having a hard time. i dont know if its really over or not
@jpetalber
Hi, thanks for reaching out.
This sounds heartbreaking, Grief is awful to go through. There’s no time limit but at the same time you must be feeling so pushed away and rejected. How have things been recently, have the two of you spoken again?
@jpetalber
Damn that hurts alot i know that feeling cause i have also been through it for months but mine story is different in which she won't love me but in your case she loves you. The only thing you can do is to Clear things out yeah i know she just shuts and move forward for making plans and also she is going through alot but you have to stop and say to her that if we go further like this it will ruin everuthing cause even if it's break its no contact but like this it will ruin and i am damn serious. If once it will ruin you won't ever be able to fix that. Take care buddy you have to clear the things. I hope you will.
It may seem so hard for u as its for her bt if she says she still loves u then maybe she does
So jst give her time cuz right now she might seem to be ok physically bt emotionally she's not. maybe she's stressed abt something or still grieving Abt her grandpa that she doesn't know what she wants right now but please don't give up on her cuz she may seem ok,nt needing u bt emotionally and mentally she needs ur presence and support
I'm sorry you're both going through this incredibly difficult situation.
I feel you are being put into a no win situation and I can feel your pain too. It must incredibly confusing and hurtful for you where she wants you to be there but doesn't want you at the same time.
This is made worse with her telling you she still loves you and even worse by treating you different than With her friends.
You are also stuck because despite expressing and wanting to communicate your feelings you've been pushed back and there's only so far you can before you will be made to feel the one in the wrong because she is the one grieving. But now you're in limbo too as you're sort of having to grieve the breakup but still having to be there dealing with her. Most people after a break up would want space and time apart to process and you don't have that and again if you tried you would be the one judges for 'abandoning' her when she is grieving.
I can feel you giving up pieces of yourself staying to support her until there nothing left with no guarantees when she will heal from her loss. She needs some therapy. What happens in the future when she loses someone else .. is she going to push you away then...
At this point I say hang in there as she goes through her loss but you need to look after yourself too. You are allowed to feel what you feel too and not to be guilty about it. Is there a good mutual friend to talk to? Taking about it will help at times so continue to reach out here if need be.
I hope things improve for you. Slowly losing someone you love that's still alive is another level of hurt.
@jpetalber,
some people find it hard to deal with emotions and get overwhelmed. It's not you, it is her. Give her space, do not ask for confirmations, be kind and gentle, and do your own things.
