Attachment issues
I feel heartbroken. I think I am crazy. I have been crying so much. My bf rejected a gift saying it was too big on him and then we fought and I cried so much. It happened days ago and I cannot forget it. I still think about it. I am too attached to him. He doesn't treat me right. We fight every 2 days and I cry for hours. I am tired. I am tired. Help me please. I wanna be happy again. I wanna be at peace again. Help me. Tell me how to detach from him. I feel pathetic. I feel I have lost control if myself.
Hi @limegreenHuman2477.
Love can be crazy or toxic or delightful...
Your attachment issues are likely because of something that happened in your past I imagine and it's harming you quite possibly.. I suggest therapy to better understand your reality..
I suggest you go to YouTube and listen to the song "women in chains" by tears for fears... maybe it will comfort you..
You are so brave telling us all this! Take care🌟
Hi @limegreenHuman2477
You are not pathetic or crazy for feeling attached to someone you love. I’ve been in a situation where constant fights made me feel emotionally exhausted too, and even small things hurt deeply because it felt like rejection from the person I cared about most.
But love should not leave you crying for hours every few days. Detaching starts slowly by choosing yourself again — spending time with people who make you feel safe, focusing on your own peace, and reminding yourself that your happiness should not depend on how someone treats you. Your heart is just tired right now, not broken forever.
@limegreenHuman2477 Sorry that you are going through this.
Detachment is easier when you do not see the person as often, when you are not messaging/ talking to them all the time.
Make sure you put your phone on DND if you know he will call all the time and make sure to DND the messages so you do not see him texting you because if you see it, you will respond.
If you have anything in your room/ house that would remind you of him, get rid of it. Only because if you see the stuff, you will try to think about the good times and fall back into the trap.
Delete those photos/videos - if you have a hard time, then just hide them so you do not see them. Out of sight, out of mind.
Also, don't let it be known that you are trying to detach because some people will realize it and try to change their ways to trick you and the cycle repeats. (Do not try to do a closure meet up/ message, because it is not needed. Since you already attached, it will just make it worse.)
Find a hobby- If you keep yourself busy while doing this, it will make it easy. Read books, bake, cook, hang with friends, play games, paint etc. It helps so you are not just sitting there crying and trying to talk yourself back into dealing with him. Make sure you treat yourself to get all dolled up cause if you look good then you feel good. :)
Keep in mind that you deserve peace and that you do not like the feeling that you are feeling.
@limegreenHuman2477
When we chose ourselves and quit trying to "fix" whatever is wrong in relationship, we can find detachment easier.
ask yourself the tough questions of is this the right relationship if small time of OK is worth fights every 2 days.... if you do not feel he treats you right then respect yourself to step back. sometimes we try too hard to make something work like we want without seeing we only have control over our feelings and actions not theirs.
he rejected a gift not you, that is not the end of the world even if we think something would be great if they think it is too big or maybe just not excited by gift ... it is not worth fighting over.