Attachment issues
My boyfriend has an anxious attachment...it's been 5 months of our dating...and yesterday I discovered that I have avoidant attachment issues...I hate that abt myself rn..I feel exhausted overwhelmed I feel like my personal space has been taken away.
How do I overcome avoidant attachment issues?..bcz it's been realllyy hard for me , and just bcz for my sake..I don't want to end up ruining someone else's life ..
@minu789 I love this quote from some places I had read, "With enough energy, it will bloom."
Yk what? Thanks for this. It made me cry.
@minu789
i understand you may have different styles.
These attachment styles were based on some patterns in research; they are not fixed all in one label. many time misused as well. They are not one size fits all.
Imagine if you will, dating someone...... they are all we think we want and yet we do not feel ready or able to commit or go all in. Now imagine someone else comes along and those things holding us back do not seem to be there. it was not an attachment issue if we are ready to attach to one but not another.
It us ok to feel you need some space and if you want this to work is your BF trying to adjust his style? Maybe we feel pressured by their needing too much reassurance etc.
if you want to change to meet in the middle, I hope you can find ways but if it is only, you making changes ... in time someone will not be happy or fulfilled in the relationship.
I wish I had come across this website earlier. What I wish someone would have told me was that you need to protect your space. If you do not protect your space, your ugliness will come out and hurt your partner, then they will leave and it will hurt you. Communicate, stand your ground as harsh as it seems, and try to do so without being a ***.
It's good that you are even talking about it. Have you saught therapy?
It's good that you are even talking about it. Have you saught therapy?
@minu789
Hi, this is completely normal and understandable feeling this way. Relationships are s complex and you did such a good job identifying which attachment style you are. Since you want to overcome this, it is obvious that you care a lot about your bf - it is so normal to want to know how to overcome this issue, so you can better a relationship.
What would you like the relationship to look like instead ? and What coping strategies have you used so far in trying to deal with the lack of own space as an avoidant attachment person?
Hey , i feel like i also function that way ...in case you get some help please share it with me. Thanks
Hey , i feel like i also function that way ...in case you get some help please share it with me. Thanks
