Avoidant girlfriend
Hello everyone I need some advice and someone to talk to about my avoidant girlfriend, lately she's been drifting away and it cause me panick attacks. She keeps saying to be vocal about my feelings and when I do she shuts me down and I feel like it's wrong to tell her what I feel, because no matter how gentle or soft I approach she shuts me down.
That's tough because the very basic thing is talking and understanding each person's view. Confrontations can be challenging no matter the good intentions.
Perhaps it's the phrasing or maybe only do it, at the times where you are completely calm and relaxed.
You can take her hand, look into her eyes and say something like.. This relationship means the world to me.
The things that I like/love about you are as follows.....
Because I care so much about us, it's important we are able to grow together, learn, air out our concerns and talk about them together.
I'm committed and here to stay but I'm also struggling with anxiety because I don't know how you're feeling and I really want to listen and support you in any way I can.
If you are finding it hard to put into words, can you please try an alternative, like writing it down, or writing me a letter, if that makes it easier, we can read it together and discuss it.
Or alternatively, please just share, what it would take to make you more comfortable. I am willing to work with you on this.
You mean a lot to me...
I would try something like that... Best of luck because what you need, also matters.
@magicalsalamander13
it can be in the delivery of your view. learning to communicate is hard in a relationship.
We do not want to hurt feelings, so we end up not being clear or send conflicting messages. this only adds to the issue.
