Bf not acknowledging my insecurities and fears
My (long distance) bf and I had an incident with his girl best friend (online) where she was “uncomfortable” or “scared” of me even though I never fully met her at all (because of her). In short, she kept lying and changing her reasons of why she didn’t want me around constantly for months and eventually i realized she was just blatantly making up excuses. I thought of it as super messed up and weird because she still wanted to hangout with my bf even though some of reasons aligned with him as well. When I expressed to my bf I felt distrustful and insecure about her it was not acknowledged at all until my third attempt after my “me or her” moment that he finally understood how big it was. (Yes I know it’s toxic to do that). that’s the end of backstory.
Come to more recent times I expressed to him that I am fearful of him not acknowledging my insecurities or fears and hurting me again like a good example is that previous incident with his girl best friend. But he did exactly what I feared and didn’t acknowledge and solely assumed I was just talking about that incident and kept defending his girl best friend even after i corrected him multiple times that it wasn’t the incident itself but what it grew. Which is this fear.
I honestly want to know if I’m crazy or not and some advice. Any and all responses are appreciated.
@discreetMango7530
Your feelings are completely valid—it's hard when your concerns aren't being acknowledged, especially when you've clearly communicated them multiple times. It’s understandable that the situation with his friend would leave you feeling insecure, and it makes sense that you want your partner to listen and be there for you emotionally.
You’re not crazy for feeling the way you do. Relationships should involve mutual understanding and respect, especially when it comes to feelings of insecurity. It's important for your partner to take your concerns seriously, not just the surface issues, but the deeper emotions behind them. You deserve to be heard and supported.
i haven’t expressed my fears and even his friend since the talk to try to express that fear, don’t get me wrong I’m patient and if told I’ll stop prodding/picking on that topic but it’s hard sometimes because now I’m just nervous constantly that he’ll run to that girl. Now that I know that he expressed that I’m too “serious” “, or of the sort, to the point I can be not enjoyable to be around, it really makes me wonder why be with me? Especially if he gets that enjoyable and fulfillment with his girl best friend (that’s he used to like way back).
