Bickering into fighting
I moved from Ohio to TN to be with my boyfriend of 2 years. We both are aware of how differently we were raised, what we were taught as kids etc. We’re a year apart in age, he has a son who lives with the mother. I bought our current house from the proceeds of my old house, up and left the only life I knew and devoted myself to him. I’ve lived in TN now for one full year. We’re closing in on the 2yr mark and what once was small discussions are now becoming stronger arguments that lead to fights. I always shut down and just emotionally and physically dismiss being near him with each growing fight. Most recently I mentioned how I miss Ohio. I mentioned missing the fall weather and yearly festivals I did with my mom and sister. He said I was attacking him with this statement. More often than not when him and I are out and about doing things in the middle of talking about random things he will randomly say he misses his son. Never have I harpered on him missing his son until last night. After he was upset that I stated I missed Ohio I got petty and compared the many times how he points out he misses his son. He said I have no kids of my own so I don’t understand how it feels. And have no right to compare missing Ohio over his son. It always hurts me when him and I will be enjoying a day or an event and his son gets brought into conversation. Making me feel as if I’m not enough in the moment. Am I wrong for feeling this way about his son? Am I wrong for just stating I miss my family and Ohio weather?
We got in a heated discussion over religion. He practically told me to stop talking because we did not agree on it. I never tell him to stop when he speaks about how he feels.
@luckyKiwi1989
I think there are things to discuss not fight about...
maybe some under lying issues are making things blow up into disagreements.
Making a LDR an IRL one we may not have considered all the things living together will include.
His son is a part of his life and you should just accept that period ... does he have visitation with the child ? Have you met his son? If this is a long term relationship as moving and buying a house would lead others to believe you are planning a life together? in a future do you see having kids of your own?
Missing the life and state you left behind is valid too ? Can you make trips at festival times etc? Have you included him in visiting Ohio and showing him what you like about it? Has he met your family?
I’ve met his son a few times. His ex limits his time with his son during visitation. So I chose to allow him and his son to just spend time together without me. I’ve respected his time with his son. We are unable to have children together.
We’ve made 3 trips back to Ohio. He always attends the trip by choice and doesn’t allow me to go alone. He has met my mom and sister. And speaks to them on the phone when they call. So they do have a small relationship.
What is a LDR and IRL?
@luckyKiwi1989
Long distance relationship i assumed you moved to where he lived
in real life = irl many times when a relationship moves to living together and and day to day some things become a bit too much.