Bothered
Are some people just completely blind to how they may actually be in the wrong and immediately shift the blame on others? Arguing with them seems pointless and it just ends up with you being the bad person in the end.
@brightSpring4247
Alot of times people just don't have the maturity to take accountability for their actions and say sorry.
You know the truth.
Dont be guilted into feeling you are the problem.
Only apologise if you feel like you have wronged 🧡
@Amanda84 what made me feel bad was how I did apologize but the whole issue became twisted and how he just had to make it look like I haven’t been trying to improve myself in any way at all. I know I’m not perfect but I don’t just get upset for no good reason as well. He shuts down any explanation when I’m just trying to defend myself because I find it unfair that he just invalidates all my emotions and turns the argument back against me saying I’m refusing to take any accountability when I just very clearly apologized.
He’s been doing this at any point he feels he is being criticized, even when he did actually do something wrong, he refuses to admit anything and somehow manages to assume the worst intentions from the one who called him out and makes them look like the bad person by enumerating their faults.
I’m really upset right now. Thank you for taking time to read through this.
@brightSpring4247
You have every right to feel upset.
He has no right to dismiss you and not listen.
There's nothing more frustrating then when you've been a good friend to someone and rather than them admit their shortcomings and apologize, they deflect it onto you 💙
Happy to listen to you 💚
@Amanda84 I feel better already, thank you. I’m just taking time to reflect on my actions as well and how I can work on myself moving forward.
I’m also starting to think this person’s not really a good friend to me or to anyone. Like he’s just a “friend” when you agree with his sentiments and tell him things he wants to hear. Goes both ways for me, I extend patience and understanding but I expect those back.
@brightSpring4247
This kind of people can drain and hurt you a lot over time. No one is perfect but without respectful communication things cannot be amended.
@pinkCherry1616 It is taking its toll. All the constant blaming another person for making them feel bad and “ruining their mood”. Never occurs to them how they make other people feel the same way first and how they have similar outbursts. Draining indeed.
@brightSpring4247
New here, my first time posting to anyone and I just want to say, some people, i think it’s mainly men, do this. I have one of them in my life. It’s so exhausting, I’m gonna recommend you stop now because it’s most likely not gonna be a positive experience for you. I wish I understood how and the why for this problem, but I wish I could get out only I’ve been here way too long and I’m stuck it seems. It’s gotten so much worse year after year, so please go find something else to want to spend time with and have life with.
Good luck dear, best wishes!
*Delste of not acceptable*
@adventuroudApple94 Hi! Sorry to hear you have to go through this. I’m also starting to feel how exhausting it can be. I don’t mind being called out for something I did wrong and changing for the better but the other side never taking any accountability for their actions and instead insisting all the more that I’m solely in the wrong as the worst unchanging person every time I try to explain my side, invalidating my feelings and being sarcastic all the while, isn’t something I want in my life anymore. I’m tired. I have friends who have seen a less ideal side of me and they showed so much more understanding and patience.
@brightSpring4247 oh honey I’m sure you’re still very young and I could be wrong I am sure I’m not lol but I’ve spent 30 years with the person I speak of and everyday is another opportunity for our life to change for the better unfortunately, I’m either the biggest fool for staying all these years or he seriously doesn’t have a bit of self-awareness and I don’t really know to tell the truth which it is. I have had therapist say he is an anti-social narcissist-“Leave, and don’t turn round”! I didn’t, I couldn’t believe it! Yet, I have been specifically attempting to change any and every single thing about me and the way I handle triggers, or problems, everything to the point that I’m not sure what else to do as far as I’m concerned. Problem, I’m still over -explaining my side and he isn’t listening to any of it. Better off to just not talk to him actually, just this morning it began again because he has no idea what a compromise is he only wants all or nothing so I have silenced for now and written the specific issue in a letter and that’s the end of it for me. Yet later the all or nothing attitude will in fact be reframed as I took something he enjoys away from him. Which is totally false. He is loud, aggressive, toxic, abusive and then I am reactive. You do not want to ever get to the point where you’re the reactive one because that means you’ve been in it way too long. I want to leave him. Yet, I’m scared to death to do it ! Don’t be me! Best wishes sweetie don’t lose yourself