Boundaries not respected
My wife has an ex that has crossed so many of my lines, and she wants to hang out with him alone at his house. I’ve expressed how it makes me feel awful, and I’ve expressed that I wanted to set boundaries because I don’t believe in making them not friends anymore… but my boundaries involve not hanging out alone at his house. She won’t agree to it. She’s going to see him today. She said “trust me to go or I’m packing my bags”
She says I’m controlling, possessive, and obsessive. And that I don’t trust her. But I don’t find that’s the case. I do trust her. She texts guys all the time. Ones that she has history with. I let her hang out with her old fwb alone at his house. But this ex boyfriend, has crossed so many of my lines. He proposed to her after she was already engaged to me. She was texting g him last week and she said “we are just friends, but I wish it were more.” On *** she said something about a dinky and he wrote back “we both know you like *** ;)”.
I’m just very uncomfortable with their current relationship. Especially this new thing of going to have “coffee” with nick (the ex). I’m not comfortable with it. And she won’t respect it. I have to let her go alone, or she’s packing her bags.
@compassionateNest8019,
let her pack her bags then.
I wish it was that easy for me
@compassionateNest8019,
it is easy. It's called someone ignoring your boundaries.
Duke is right. You are being played.
In a healthy relationship there isn't ultimatums given, like she's giving you. That's a toxic relationship trait. Perhaps she's OK with you behaving in the say way she does with women in your life. Or maybe it would bother her. Either way, her behaviour clearly is not something you are comfortable with. And I think anyone, who is in an exclusive, committed relationship would never act like that. This seems like a significant incompatibility. And one you should not have to out up with. You need to do what is right for yourself. You don't need to accept any behaviour that doesn't feel comfortable for you. And your partner should respect that. Maybe that will mean you end the relationship. Which of course is not easy at all. But, for your own emotional wellbeing, is this person really an emotional healthy person for you. Or, could she be rather toxic. Boundaries are important. And if some people can't or won't respect them, then are they really worth having in your life? There is always someone out there who will respect your boundaries.
(CW: explicit lingo)
With a wife like that, who needs a crack wh0re?
Clearly this woman does not respect you...not as a husband, nor as a man. All you are to her, most likely, is an ATM with legs & a pulse.
Sorry to break it to you, but she belongs to the streets.
You don't need a tr∆mp like her in your life. Dump her like the piece of filth she is. Yes, you will probably lose some of your stuff in the divorce but no price is too high to pay for peace of mind...not to mention, eliminating the possibility of catching a disease if/when she takes a break from riding the c0ck carousel to throw you a lay after you beg & cry for it enough.
Also, if you can prove infidelity to a sufficiently high standard in civil court, it may ruin her attempt to grab > half of your assets. Just food for thought.
Sounds like she's not respecting your boundaries
