Boy problems

so i had a boyfriend for almost 8 months. broke up w him 3 months in because he was lying to me and we got back tg a day later. the relationship already was kinda toxic. i forgave him and it started getting better but then every single day i was still begging for the bare minimum and for him to care and pay attention to me. so 2 weeks ago i finally broke up w him bc i had enough and wanted more. so during the relationship he had a friend who i knew proably liked me. well after me and my ex broke up his friend hit me up and wanted to hang out. so we hung out yesterday and needless to say we cuddled and made out like 2 times. i feel horrible and me and him are both keeping it a secret bc it will f up there friendship and cause a ton of problems bc my bsf also talked to his friend before that i just hung out w and they kissed but she didn’t like him so they stopped talking so ik she wouldn’t care if i told her. but i feel guilty abt it because i don’t think i rly like him. and i am not ever gonna tell me ex but i feel so messed up. like am i really f’d up for what i did because i think i don’t wanna talk to him again bc i don’t feel the best abt everything. also one of the guys i dated in 7th grade which was a long time ago lowkey admitted he had feelings for me and he’s planning on taking me to lunch today and he’s very sweet. and im not tryna be a player at all but i feel like there’s so many different ppl coming in my life at once that im getting so confused and i feel bad for talking to anyone 2 weeks after my relationship