Breakup

@Regmo I understand you very much, I also have a disabled brother, he often wandering on the Internet maybe to find a friend to talk to, believe that you still found some friends and get comfort, hope not to let this mess up your life, just let this way to help you get rid of loneliness. And look for true friends around you. They are the ones you need.

@Regmo,

I do hope you connect truly with someone.

But be aware that ideas like "a woman should follow a man" and remarks like "she was the best offer" are not gonna make your journey for a soulmate easy.

@Regmo. I am sorry I hope you find someone else it may take time to find that person who checks all the boxes. 

@Regmo Hi and welcome. I'm fairly new and just seen a post of yours, so figured to check out your profile a bit. I too have been in your shoes to a degree as far as meeting people online and having online long distance relationships. They do work if you put the time & effort into them, but they're very difficult. Nobody knows what the other one's doing and wonder if anything will ever really be. I just recently broke up with someone whom I had a 1-year relationship with that we planned on meeting, and we didn't live too far from each other, but I found out he lied to me and he broke things off into thin air and disappeared. I too deal with CPTSD, but there's not a lot of people on here that do. I've been working on my healing for a long time now and have done well for myself, but just recently starting to work on the CPTSD parts. I also deal with insecurities and external self esteem issues. I'm from the US and on here just to help others as well as myself. I hope you're doing well so far, despite everything else. 

@Regmo

I can see why you felt you had to step away. It takes a lot of strength to admit when a relationship isn’t working, especially when you’ve invested emotionally and hoped for more. Online connections can be so tricky. I had some in college that seemed great too but fizzled out. You get glimpses of closeness, but it’s hard to know the full truth of who someone is without shared, day-to-day life. That makes it easy for hopes and red flags to tangle together.

One thought that might help: relationships aren’t just about whether the other person meets your needs, but also about what beliefs we bring into them. You mentioned that “the woman follows the man." I wonder if holding too tightly to a rule like that could close off possibilities for partnership that feel more balanced and reciprocal. Sometimes love surprises us when we shift from “what role should they play” to “how can we walk side by side?”

This doesn't mean you should have just accepted the request to move to Chicago; honoring yourself and your life plan matters. What it does mean is that, in a healthy partnership you may seek in the future decisions like that should get worked out through dialogue, compromise, and a shared vision. Instead of one person always leading and the other always following, both bring their needs and hopes to the table, and together you figure out what path makes sense.

I know loneliness can feel overwhelming, especially when health or mobility make in-person connections harder. But you deserve more than just “the best offer in years.” You deserve someone who truly sees you, listens, and builds something with you. Even if it takes time, you’re better off leaving space for the right fit than filling it with someone who isn’t aligned with your heart or your path.