Can’t let go of him

Hi, this is my first post whatsoever so I don’t even know what to actually say and if this is the right place to. English isn’t my first language so sorry for any mistakes.

I have been friends with this guy for almost four years now I think. In the beginning everything was fine like you’d expect it. We just worked out great as friends. Then both of us started to catch feelings but we wouldn’t do anything about it. Neither him nor I made the first move. We didn’t even actually tell each other we just kinda knew, also of what others told us separately about the other.

Then, you guessed it, because no one ever made the first move he *** lost interest in me that way but I guess I didn’t. After a year then he got a girlfriend, a girl I knew from school before she switched. She apparently had something against me so she made him literally drop me for her completely. I mean no talking, texting, nothing. She also did this for a couple of other friends with him but it was most extreme with me (he said himself).

This literally broke my heart because not only I was still the one in love with him but I also lost a close friend. At a party we both went to I then pulled him aside and confronted him (probably wasn’t the smartest move since I was drunk) and told him about how I felt. He was like “what no I’m so sorry I never wanted to make you feel that way blah blah blah”. Fast forward the next day: we talked again in school and he sincerely apologised and told me he would never do that again and stuff but things didn’t even change. Until they broke up. After talking a couple more times everything was back to normal almost. But I was still in love with him.

The *** thing is hntil now he would give me all these signs. He’s a touchy person in general but still he would make bold moves. I had my hopes up maybe he was feeling the same way now and it would finally work out now.

Well he texts me he has a new girl. They aren’t together yet but he’s sure about her. This broke my heart over and over again. I feel really stupid actually this doesn’t even seem that deep.

I wanted to tell him how I feel so *** bad but now I can’t. I’ve been keeping this in for three years now and it’s eating me alive but I just can’t seem to move on. And at the same time I’m scared he will do no contact for this new girl again.

Any advice on what I should do? Tell him how I feel or no? Try my best to move on?

Thanks in advance :)