Catfish
I met a girl online 6 years ago, we became very close, and eventually, we developed mutual romantic feelings. She always led me to believe she was a cisgender girl, but after all this time, she decided to confess to me that she is a transgender girl, which I have no issue with. However, I feel hurt by the lies. I don't know how to deal with these emotions. I genuinely feel that I love her, but I don't know how to trust again that she won't lie in that way once more.
@Elan32
Online relationships are about trust as verify is not always possible ....
it is easy to understand why you feel betrayed. if she lies about that there may be more things that is a long time keeping a secret... did she explain why ?
what is the point to have a friend or a romantic online relationship if a person is being fake it only messes with their feelings and hurts people.
Well, she explained to me that she was afraid of rejection. She thought that I would stop having feelings for her because of it. She said that she always tried to tell me the truth, but fear prevented her from doing so.
That’s tough. I’m sorry that she wasn’t completely honest with you. No matter the circumstances, that’s always hard. I do understand why she did not feel brave enough to be able to tell you. I can’t imagine the relief she must feel to have the truth out in the open now and to be accepted. You can still feel hurt and continue to love her. You can still feel that your trust has been broken but be open to working on rebuilding it. It’s a two-person job though.
As another comment mentions, online relationships especially hold risk for secrets or lack of honesty. You might want to ask yourself where the relationship could be headed. Is the goal a real physical relationship? If so, it can be good to start taking steps to move from the digital to the fully real world. There are so many things about people that you can’t know until you know them in their everyday lives and in different social settings.
Good luck with this relationship if it is something you are wanting to pursue. It’s so very admirable that you handled the truth in the way you did.
Thanks a lot for your kind words. Had a bit more chat with her about what's coming up, and we both figure we wanna live together and maybe, get married. Right now, just asked her for some time to heal.
I know I love her and try to be understanding of her situation. I also feel like her feelings for me are genuine, so I reckon we can both put in the effort to make the relationship work.
Feeling a bit more relieved after checking out the comments on this post. Thanks again!