Cheating & Lying
I want to get help and heal a pattern I have noticed. Since I was young I can very easily lie to get attention. Most recently I had an online affair for 2 years with someone and omitted a lot of facts about myself..some things I shared were solely to get sympathy. After time we realized it was pointless and I have so many happy parts of my marriage. I can't help but wonder why I do this or how to heal and avoid doing it again.
@tealThinker94055
Hi there,
Thanks for reaching out. You mention lying from a young age, so I’m wondering what were you missing when growing up? Attention, you’ve already mentioned. Questions you could ask yourself would be, did you feel you received enough validation, love, care, someone to listen to you perhaps? Did you feel overlooked/left out?
It’s so good you’re beginning to acknowledge what’s good in your marriage. Hopefully others can offer their perspective 🌹
@tealThinker9405
I think as you described lying and getting attention can be addictive if you are missing or missed attention for just who you are. I feel it is very hard to stop as most people i knew that did similar either were found out as a liar or just need to find new group to fall for it. many times it was a sympathy thing as well.
As for the online affair if that is what you call it is also getting attention. if you want to change you need to get real attention for the real you. Have you spoken to spouse about filling the needs you tried to fill with your online person..i am not about outing the online thing (if spouse is unaware) but seeking the attention and sharing you want. Loss of that sharing can happen in marriages that even with good things we do not feel the need to maybe talk or share like we once did...
