Cheating Spouse
To the people who have been cheated on and tried to forgive your spouse, do you struggle to see them as their old self? Do you struggle that now you live with a stranger?
I saw the world through my husband's eyes but after finding out he rented a woman while he was on vacation while i was going through a miscarriage alone where i dont have any family or friends.
@Jjj93 Ohhh my! My heart breaks for you after reading your post. I can't imagine the pain and heartache you must feel. From losing your baby and finding out your husband has been unfaithful, I am so sorry to hear that. I am so extremely sorry for your loss and what you are going through. I would like to remind you of how amazing, beautiful, strong, and resilient you are. I also want you to know that I will say a special prayer for you tonight. Jjj93, I do hope that you are able to find forgiveness in your heart (if that is what you want to do and forgive your husband) and do what is best for you and your mental health. Forgiveness is so important. I also hope that you are able to find peace and healing after having a miscarriage. I hope that you take all the time needed in order for you to grieve and heal. I am sending hugs and prayers your way. Please hang in there and stay strong! Take care! <3 Xoxo.
@yourcaringconfident thank you for this, i needed it, i felt it, not one person has acknowledged the pain to lose a baby and how it affects a mother. How i was all alone at home with my 6 year old screaming jn the bathroom (i live away from family and friends)
I'll start with this, when we enter in to and find ourselves within long term relationships, there comes a point where neither person will ever remain confined within the perception of "their old self". As humans, we are constantly changing, and adapting to the external stimuli around us.... Hopefully in that sense, we are constantly growing. But as humans we are prevalent to making mistakes, all of us are. I'm not religious, but we all have our sins and grievances. And usually moreso than not ever, we all play our own parts in many of the things that happen to us and because of which, we experience.
Cheating is never ever defensible. I stand on that sentiment. But, with that in mind, I know that unless a person is just some scum of the earth good for absolutely nothing worthless piece of crap.... The decision of infidelity, doesn't come natural to most people. The way that it surfaces and inevitably comes to be, is mostly borne out of a lack of fulfillment in some type of way. Again, cheating is absolutely wrong. But we have to do some introspection and ask questions, especially if we still intend to be with this person, if we don't cut that *** loose and be done with it. But if you're willing to allow them to stay, and work through things with you, you have to allow yourself the capacity to turn your thoughts inward,and maybe ask what could I have done,should do better in the future, that allows my partner to feel and actually be fulfilled so that they seek me out only, always.
I say this because I speak with heavy experience weighing on my shoulders. My wife and I have been together for the past almost 10 years, and I'm 34 and she's 32, so a significant portion of our adult lives we've spent together. In the beginning, I was plagued by my avoidant attachment style, so in fear of feeling I'd do my best to keep her at arms length,but never not within touch. And that wasn't with any malicious intent, I was just feeling so so incredibly much for her that it scared me. And my emotional withdrawal from her and at the time I was using and drinking heavily so my ***-ness levels compounded upon the ways my withdrawal probably made her feel. And she sought emotional comfort elsewhere, and I found out about it. It absolutely devastated me. I won't go into detail about it all out of respect for her, but it undoubtedly left me feeling like I was sleeping next to a stranger. So I can understand that. And unfortunately that wouldn't live to be the only time....
I'm sure many people would have their choice of words to say about me and her because of this- that I'm a fool and she's a whatever or this and that.
But I know the love I have for her,and that she embodies in me. And I'm confident in our capacity to overcome, because I remain aware of the hand I played in things.
I guess what I'm saying is, if you intend to be with this person, as easy and as hard as it will be. You have to try and see the person your partner truly is, whether that be good or bad.... Nobody ever truly remains the same. We all grow and overcome with the pass of each new day. Healing takes time, and it takes effort from both parties. You got this. 👍
I totally understand what you are saying, but my partner changed because people around him pushed him to. As for my part, he didnt do anything to add value to my life, all he did was be on the phone, i took care of the.chores, my daughter, and him, nd to shock you, i also did his job for him (we both work from home) , i did everything above and beyond, i am always always looking the best at home, what i wear at home matters more to me then what i wear outside. I take care of my looks. I asked him, he said to be more fun, but you tell me how can i do everyrhing and alao be fun i have no energy im not myself anymore. Maybe its different for you, i didnt have a partnerni have a 33 year old man child
I just found out a few weeks ago that my husband cheated on me a month after our wedding, more than once. I found the videos and photos on a tablet that he supposedly left because he wasn't brave enough, but I can't even believe that. If that is the only thing- they cheated when you were distant- then maybe you can see them the same eventually..in my case it just made so many things clear and I found out so many more lies. It truly is heartbreaking.
Do understand but this is the real life , please screening urself and live for urself only wana say
