Cheating
Me (almost 36y F) and my boyfriend (almost 44y M) have been together since 2013. For background, we've lived together since about 2015. Things have not always been easy, We've had our struggles, but in the past few years things have become particularly strained. We bought a house together, and we struggle to see eye to eye in regards to its upkeep. We have a dog (brought to the relationship by me) who has been diagnosed with cancer, and he has required a lot of attention and financial support. All of this has left its mark.
About 3 months ago, he and I had a really big fight and I almost left. I didn't, he didn't want me to, but we never talked about it. We NEVER do. So, we've just been existing together. Well, today, new year's day, I went into our bathroom and found a condom wrapper. Having been together for so long, I can't remember the last time we used a condom, so I was obviously upset. I confronted him, he denied ownership. He claimed he had received cash gifts from relatives for Christmas and maybe the wrapper was in there?
I basically know where he is at all times, or I think I do... we both have a pretty basic schedule and stick to it, so if there was a cheating incident I'm not sure when it could have occurred... but given the strain on the relationship and where the condom wrapper was found, I feel like it's obvious that he did it. I just need advice.
@wigglebuttmom
your relationship is strained and you are co-existing ....... you are not communicating and then find this.... If this is an issue ....most would be careful with signs ...unless they want you to find out....
if you can see no time in a tight schedule perhaps his excuse while a stretch could be true. Does he want to break.
At this point you could assume it either way but you know that communication improvement is a must. I know i have been there.
I have been on other sites as well and the breakdown of relationship always have a big thing in common a lack of or BAD communication. That is on both sides of the coin... we say things we think the other wants to hear..... Or we polish the truth .... we hold on for history and the memory of what we once had... or want again.
a relationship is a living breathing thing not a thing that is set in stone... it changes and grows sometimes not the way we want either.
When we are busy , stressed or let basic work / schedule come first we forget to feed and nurture the relationship and each other .... we remember try in moments.... holidays / vacations etc.
And then a moment like this all thoughts come crashing down.... we question why or how?
I hope you find peace in whatever way this plays out
