Cold at Night

I have to sleep, but we just had a bad moment so now I am upset.

Tonight's Little Drama: I bite my lips a lot. Boyfriend sometimes feels the need to give me a smug, judgemental stare or say my name suddenly in a loud voice, which makes me very uncomfortable.

Tonight he did these things. Literally within probably a couple of minutes or so, it happened 3-4 times. I have told him and asked him to stop a few times in the past as it does not help, but he continues anyway because he says I won't stop even if he does.

This time, I told him I will keep doing it because his staring and sudden loud voice makes me uncomfortable. So, he said, "Okay mom." For context, (TW!!!!!!!) she used stress as an excuse to do many things, such as eat sweets a lot. Her habits caused illness, and her illness ended her.

So, I got upset very quickly and I kind of told him to not be a certain insult that means female dog (I'm tired and don't remember what I can say here so I'm sorry). He calmly replied, while staring at a YouTube video on his screen, "Don't be toxic."

So, now I'm upset and I kind of want to cry but it feels useless. Usually when I cry at bedtime people just get annoyed and maybe ignore me.

He is just casually relaxing now. He was calm during the tense moment and he is calm now. I just don't understand why he had to bug me at midnight about this and then compare me to his toxic mother all casual-like.

I might go to bed on the couch. I don't think he is going to want to be close to me tonight. I just don't want to see it if he rolls over and snuggles on his other girlfriend (yes, it is sort of a "poly" thing. Long story. I'm not exactly happy about it. Please do NOT focus solely on the relationship style.) I think seeing him be soft to someone else after that would hurt me more.

I once told him I want him to hold me even after tense things if it is night time because I don't want to go to bed with anyone hurting or feeling hated. I noticed ever since then, he pretty much stopped doing exactly that. He used to pick me up off the couch if I moved there and he would take me back to the bed, and I liked that because I felt a little more loved. But now he often just leaves me wherever I am and goes to sleep without interacting any further.

If you got through all of that... Am I being ridiculous? Or do I have a right to be hurting right now? Is this me being pathetic? Am I being unfair? Please tell me if my feelings and thoughts are reasonable.