Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav

Confused

User Profile: azureEyes8857
azureEyes8857 January 27th, 2024

My husband and I have been having a large array of issues. It all started when I was pregnant and I had went off the deep end on a friend of his (who is my family member) for being nosy and looking at us while we were arguing. This friend made false statements and accusations about my husbands and my daughter as in who she belongs to. I let it go for a while. I went to stay at my fathers home because I was so tired of being accused of saying things I didn’t say and the neighbors (who are also my husbands friends) reporting to him every time I left and returned to the house. When our daughter was born everything was amazing my husband came and stayed with me at my fathers house while I recovered for two weeks so I could have help getting up and down and bathing and so someone could drive me to appointments. My husband then goes home after those two weeks and about maybe another week later it’s like a light switch. He’s become distant not asking about our daughter and ignoring my messages and calls. Shortly after this friend had put it back in his head our daughter wasn’t his. I was so tired and infuriated that my own family and his friend was making this lie and my husband believed it. I then get served paperwork where my son (from a previous marriage) made allegations where one of my husbands other friends son had sa him. This friends sister (who is also my husbands ex) came to “visit” and she kept asking questions and I sent her packing with false info. Which she went running her mouth just like I thought she would. I then confronted my family member who made the false statements of my daughter not belonging to my husband and I was told I was in the wrong for confronting him. My husband has since been upset with me threatened me with divorce and now has stopped the threats. He’s told me saving our marriage is all on me. He tells me he loves me but only verbally he doesn’t respond saying it in text. I try to not let this stuff bother me and he now realizes his daughter is his. I just found out him and the ex are sending memes back and forth to each other on messenger (which he has me blocked on ***) I let that go because he can have friends. He calls me a narcissist and everything we’ve argued about in the past I know things have been said but he makes me question what I know I’ve heard and says it wasn’t said. He accuses me of twisting things around when there is proof plain as day. Am I in the wrong for begging this man to do better because I don’t want to live this life without him? This is absolutely new behavior for him. I just want his love and I don’t know what to do! This man is the love of my life and has done nothing but want a family and children of his own but these friends have also told him not to marry me and not to get me pregnant and ever since both has happened it’s just been a absolute whirlwind. Any advice/support would be greatly appreciated.

3
User Profile: toughTiger6481
toughTiger6481 January 27th, 2024

@azureEyes8857

"friends"  or EX or family have no business in a relationship........the whole thing is silly there are tests IF your husband even thought child was not his..... case closed ... i can totally see going off on someone who made such suggestions etc and did not let it go......

the reality is if he is being fed garbage info continually by others your being upset and agruing about it is not going to help........ people tend to buy into she would not be so mad if it was not true type BS to support their gossip. If he said the whole marriage thing is on YOU changing or whatever it is OVER because relationships again are usually 2 people not a group think thing ...... you need to have real talk with him not about his BS feeding friends but what is there for you and him for a future for your daughter....

2 replies
User Profile: azureEyes8857
azureEyes8857 OP January 27th, 2024

How do I approach that without upsetting him more? I love him and don’t want to loose him

1 reply
User Profile: toughTiger6481
toughTiger6481 January 29th, 2024

@azureEyes8857

That is what i have seen time and time again ... i did it too gave in an stoked his ego instead of standing my ground ................in the end i grew resentful and lost all respect for my partner.

YOU love him fix this as adults and yes both sides are not going to be 100% happy with it.... or placate him and each time this happens a bit of the love you have will die until all there is will be a  bitter would've / could' ve/should've moment. 

be honest about how the group think and gossips needs to end .... IF he really had any question it should be his not his friends stirring it up....  He needs to decide what he wants not take a poll of friends / family etc..... 

load more
load more