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Confused and hoping that my relationship still has a chance

User Profile: orangeJackfruit4291
orangeJackfruit4291 August 22nd, 2024

Hello, I've been going through a lot of stress with my relationship with my BF of 3 years. For some context, last year he was going through a lot and I'll admit I pushed stuff down so that I wouldn't burden him with it during those tough times. Now this year, I've been dealing with a lot and have been diagnosed with depression. It has been affecting my relationship and we've been having cyclical arguments and last week we agreed to try couples therapy, I asked him to be honest with me about if he wanted to be in the relationship and he said he did. Suddenly, two days ago he broke up with me and I could tell he was struggling with it and it kind of came out of nowhere especially when we committed to therapy and really committing to working on things since we weren't properly focusing on it. I'm so confused and we are set to talk but I'm worried that this is a final and permanent decision, I want to work on things and am planning to try and talk but I'm not sure what to do. We didn't really try and we have great communication it's just been so stressful for us and I'm so scared that this is just final and I won't get the chance to show him I want to try. Any advice on how to approach the conversation and if there is hope.

Thank you

1
User Profile: Aayla
Aayla September 1st, 2024
@orangeJackfruit4291 I'm sorry, it must be heartbreaking to go through this. Please remember that it's not your fault, you've proved to be very committed to try and figure out a way to make things work. Couple therapy was indeed a great idea, but if he made this decision there might have been more he hasn't told you. I don't know if you've had the chance to speak yet, but make sure to take all the time you need and openly express all your feelings, worries and what you'd wish for your future. Encourage him to do the same and try to understand his point of view. If it's final, this conversation can at least bring you closer and help you moving on knowing you truly did all you could to make things work. If he is still not sure, you can find a way to work through this together. You might even suggest trying couple therapy for a while before making the decision final, but it's still up to him to make the final call. Whatever happens, remember that when you've done all you can, there is nothing to regret or to blame yourself for.
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