Confusing feelings surfacing about an ex from years ago…

Well, it’s a long story but the gist of it is — my high school sweetheart who I was with for almost 8 years and friends with for about 10 years father passed suddenly last week. My ex and I haven’t spoken for 2 years for reasons too long to explain here. This tragedy has brought up a lot of confusing feeling including grief of my own, sadness for my ex and his family, nostalgic feelings for what we used to have, anxiety over the relationship I’m currently in and already felt stressed about, and so much more.

There's a lot to unpack with this situation to explain everything leading up to it. But to explain where it stands now, my ex buried his father yesterday and from what Ive heard through my family (they employ him) he gave a beautiful eulogy. I sent a massive bouquet of flowers to the funeral. I sent a card with my sister to give to him that expressed condolences and shared some happy memories I have of his father ending by letting him know I'm here if he want to talk. I hope he reaches out but I don't know if he will.

He has a girlfriend of a couple years now. I've been with my boyfriend for about 3.5-4 years now but it's all been extremely long distance. Everything that has happened has left me feeling so nostalgic for my ex and our relationship, but I don't know if that's just because of the grief and sadness I feel for him or if all these memories flooding in are making me realize I want someone who's actually here to live a life with me and not 3000 miles away, or if these feelings are genuine and I do miss him in a way that is more than just wanting to be friends again. Point being, I'm so lost and there's so much to unpack and I don't feel like I can talk to anyone in my life because they are just too close to the situation.

Any advice or similar experiences appreciated.

Thanks