Confusion
“I think you're forgetting that Ray was intoxicated when it happened. Some people will become a different person when drunk”
“I didn’t remember the sex, I just woke up beside her the next day.”
This gives me conflicting thoughts regarding my ex’s one night stand situation. I don’t know how getting black out drunk works. He only remembered talking to the person (in a group) while watching sports, doesn’t remember bringing her home and doing it, but sees her in bed the next day. I don’t know if it’s on purpose or an accident as some people claim it to be. They’re asking me to give him a second chance.
@orangeKite2409
Hello,
Do you think if a person who had been intoxicated and run over a mother with a child on a crossing should be presumed innocent and set free? - because he or she was drunk, and had no idea what he or she was doing?
My answer is NOPE.
You may become "another person" when you're drunk, but I believe it should still be the same YOU at the controls BEFORE you get drunk.
And when you're aware of the fact you have both drinking and memory loss problems, your cautiousness should be doubled or tripled.
By the way, memory losses is the hard sign of the final stage of alcohol addiction, which can indirectly lead to very serious consequences.
Many of my AA friends, when I visited their open meetings, used to say: "When your addiction goes really strong, you usually end up in jail, at the institution, dead... or here".
But I guess you are a very responsible person, and you don't want to end everything in one day, even if the things really go wrong...
Suppose you had a choice between two options: One is not forgiving your partner his betrayal, but letting him do anything further (or nothing) about his alcohol addiction. Another is a possibility to forgive your partner his single infidelity on condition that he goes to an alcohol detoxication, therapy and/or rehab? Which one would you pick as the best option for you?
The AA people call it a "cold love". You cannot make your beloved one stop drinking, but you can make him facing all the consequences.
In all honesty I don’t know what to do, and feel hopeless on the situation.
I loved him and tried to stop him from bad decisions, but he’s stubborn like a parent-teenager relationship.
For 5 years we’ve been together, I’ve scolded him about his money management, his coffee drinking (like drinking 5 cups of coffee in one morning), and even his current drinking habit. He never listened despite all the consequences… and I never thought it would reach to this point where he cheated and put the blame on me.
He said I was “giving him extra stress for nagging” when I was watching over him and making sure he doesn’t break down with his current situation.
He’s so stubborn, I don’t know if he’ll go to therapy and rehab for his drinking habit. And I won’t be there to know because I blocked off all contacts. I’m not mentally ready to take care of this toddler-minded ex of mine, and he will no longer be my responsibility.
But it sucks so bad that I miss him…
@orangeKite2409
Maybe it's a good time for a little boy in a big body to take the responsibility and grow up?
